Death glare is a rare sight on me.

The more common one for me is the evil smirk.

and sure I can hold eye contact pretty well, it's only when I become self conscious that I lose the consistency.

 

Don't believe that death glare stereotype; its how you process your world what makes you an INTJ. I'm bad at maintaining eye contact and my eyes shifts a lot. Usually people who is capable of staring people down are visual learner(they notice visual perception as oppose to verbal and kinesthetic) and for an intuition dominant our sights are pretty foggy; I for one capture subtleties and impressions of situations or people so I hardly need to look at them in the eye. I believe you are too.
I was called expressionless, not death-ish ; I'm in a current state of(at least in the eyes of the beholder) weird happiness all the time. Though when I'm sad, like any other normal human being it shows on my face though its not often, or intended and usually its coupled with shame when other people notice it.

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

3. Ideas for all of the above?

1. Not unless I don't want to maintain eye contact.

2. I've been told that I have a nearly permanent "angry" look on my face.

3. Asperger syndrome or confidence issues?

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

3. Ideas for all of the above?

1. Sometimes, I can maintain a firm eye contact while conversing with people but it really depends on how focused I am on the topic of conversation. Most of the time, my eyes are busy wandering everywhere. Even if I do stare straight at a person, I may not exactly "see" him/her at all as my thoughts are usually occupied on something else.

2. I have a poker face most of time. Death glare mode kicks in when people piss me off badly.

3. I don't know if it's an INTJ thing but I'm too absorbed in my Ni realm that sometimes people think that I look angry simply because I appeared emotionless. That's not to say that I don't respond to people or is completely oblivious. In fact, in active conversations, I tend to be very responsive and prompt in my replies.

 

...This is why I most likely won't be seen without long hair or sunglasses, or looking at the ground when the other two aren't available in public.

Sunglasses are for hiding. Only pussies hide.

Now, apparently it's an INTJ stereotype that the neutral face is the Death Glare, and that no INTJ will break eye contact, and this unnerves people.

There seems to be two ways (at least) to interprete/define the death glare/stare. I see it as the neutral, emotionless face as on a dead person. Others see it as a glare/stare that will leave the other person "dead" from fear.

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

No. As a kid, while I would always win the staring games because I would take residence inside my head, I would often avoid eye-contact like I would avoid physical contact with others. At 21 I took the Com-Course (communication course) at the Scientology center in Sacramento, CA (didn't have anything better to do/atheist since 12/USD25). After that I've always stared right at whoever I was talking to throughout the talk.

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

I noticed one day, shortly after I started posting on PerC, when I was walking down a street with a big smile on my face that my own reflection in a mirror in a store window showed my face completely expressionless/death glare.

3. Ideas for all of the above?

I don't think you should join Travolta & Cruise to get your death glare.

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

Depends on the context. Used to be. These days . . . generally, no.

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

My face isn't set up for death glares. But when I'm really focused, people can suddenly make me feel as though my eyes are the wrong colour for them.

3. Ideas for all of the above?

I focus on content. Shy used to be something I could outdo anyone at until I learned to blank the social context and just concentrate on the exchange. I can look straight at people, but usually I'm not looking at them as people. I'm just watching their eyes while I think about whatever we're talking about. If they get twitchy, I kind of ease off without necessarily completely breaking the contact.

I dunno. It's a bit like keeping your flow going in city traffic that's moving, but has a lot of stop-and-go going on. Instead of watching the bumper in front of you, I watch facial cues.

 

1. No. Except rarely, some particular person will be difficult for me to stay with.
2. No. I have mobile expressions. I reserve Death Glare for when I wish Death upon someone. I have okay awareness and control of my facial expressions and can read others' easily.
3. My first thought was also Asperger's, and if it would comfort you to hear if you have that or not, consider getting tested. But some of my eye contact and expressiveness and sensitivity to expression is because I've been socialized as a female in a culture where hearth-keeping and social sensitivity are part of women's endless work, so you may be a typical INTJ male whereas I've been forced to behave against type to meet cultural gender expectations. In other words, I'd discount my answer if I were you.

 

Hello, quick question for everyone, but I'll be starting with an example.

When I'm in public I can't maintain eye contact. This includes walking in public, talking with an authority figure, being in class, etc. This is why I most likely won't be seen without long hair or sunglasses

The latter is true for me, though not for the same reasons.

Now, apparently it's an INTJ stereotype that the neutral face is the Death Glare, and that no INTJ will break eye contact, and this unnerves people.

The latter is true for me, though I do possess a "death glare" as well. When talking to someone, I do not break eye contact. People have been unnerved by it, as I've been told on more than one occasion that I have "piercing eyes," and thus people feel uncomfortable under the intensity of my gaze. Which is rather ironic, as people have also been unnerved by my penchant of wearing sunglasses and not being able to see my eyes. One person once told me they were uncomfortable not seeing my eyes, yet once I took them off they became even more uncomfortable, unable to look me in the eyes at all after a while, after which point I put my sunglasses back on. I didn't have to hear any complaints about my sunglasses again after that. I found it amusing, as it was yet another example that many people simply don't actually know what it is they want.

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

No, it is not. Others break eye contact first, and have felt uncomfortable by my sustained eye contact.

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

People have often assumed that I was mad when I was not.

 

I found it amusing, as it was yet another example that many people simply don't actually know what it is they want.

They probably want something midway between your two extremes.

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

Most of the time, no. I think I usually manage to make a normal amount of eye contact without sparing it a thought. (I could of course be mistaken. This would probably be more noticeable to others)
I can maintain eye contact well enough when I want to. Don't ever enter into a staring contest with me unless you have time.
But occasionally I find it hard to judge what amount of eye contact is normal and how to interpret it. So in case of accidental eye contact during conversations that seems to be more intense than usual, there's that sequence of thoughts:
"This is odd. Don't look away first. What does this mean? People think eye contact means honesty, that's good. Wait, I've been told it is flirting, too. Is he flirting? Does he think I am? Well in that case, looking away now would come off as a confirmation, like getting caught and being shy or something. Nope, too late for that. Just roll with it. Let's see how long this goes, observe them without regard for possible connotations."

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

Only when I'm zoning out.
I tend to claim I'm staring into a black hole.
When I'm tired/annoyed, I can also do a version that is described as "shooting arrows from my eyes".

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?
No, I tend to make a lot of eye contact. It never seems to scare people, though. But then, nearly everyone I talk to (while paying enough attention to look at them) is kind of odd.

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?
Sort of. When I was very young, I got into the habit of smiling a lot, because people tended to treat me better when I did. If I'm not smiling now, people have commented I look angry/stern. When I was thinking and stared at my sister, she got very uncomfortable.

3. Ideas for all of the above?
I think it will always be to do with nurture over nature in this respect (unless you have down-turned lips and low brows, which may make you look disapproving more often) - people's faces are basically made from their expressions, so the death glare may be the INTJ method of trying to keep annoying people away, but not all INTJs will have it. As I said, I don't really and an INTJ I used to know didn't either. I think it's very, very unusual for someone to look like they're constantly death-glaring everyone.

 

Well, I guess I fit that stereotype, at least ^^

I have never had a problem with maintaining eye contact; it's just another way of communicating for me. I think I'm very aware of what it takes to make people believe what you want them to - prolonged eye contact makes you seem like you're sure of yourself and your opinion.

My "normal" facial expression is somewhat bored, somewhat amused, most of the time it's slightly pissed off. My former German teacher, however - someone I'm on good terms with and have always respected and liked - told me how fascinated he'd always been with the way I'd looked at him, like he "was always doing something wrong". Weirdly, he went on about how charming and enigmatic he found it. But still, that's something only that one person brought to my attention, so...

Ideas - yeah, don't believe stereotypes. INTJs have a tendency toward the sarcastic, the bored, the condescending. But that doesn't mean we all have to express it the same way and it certainly doesn't mean we all have the same facial expression. For example, INTJs are said to have a perfect poker face - well, actually, my face is quite expressive; I have a problem hiding what I think of people.

 

Well, I guess I fit that stereotype, at least ^^
My former German teacher, however - someone I'm on good terms with and have always respected and liked - told me how fascinated he'd always been with the way I'd looked at him, like he "was always doing something wrong". Weirdly, he went on about how charming and enigmatic he found it. But still, that's something only that one person brought to my attention, so...

Lucky you. I have been told exactly the same by various teachers except that they hated it. They got insecure for no reason and blamed me for looking at them weirdly. This is what I get for attentively following their lesson.

 

1. Depends on the situation. With people I know well, I have no problems. In formal situations neither. But I´m very unsure about the appropriate amount of eye contact for small-talk. When it comes to strangers on the street I mostly ever have the feeling that I am the one looking at people who don´t even observe anything. And I can adapt this kind of mindless staring pretty well. If I have the rare experience that I feel someone is actually looking at me, I get scared. But this has only happened to me approximately 5 times in my whole life.

2. I don´t think I even have a "death glare". And I´m never going to try glaring someone to death because I´m sure this would turn into a ridiculous grimace. (OK, I confess, I tried a death glare at age 4 in kindergarten... I got laughed at.)
My normal facial expression, which I think is neutral or observing, is enough to intimidate some people...

3. I don´t think it has anything to do with MBTI. Disregarding the personality type it´s about wether you are a stable or a labil personality. I´d say one possibility is, that it´s actually a paranoid and self-centered thing. The feeling others could detect something looking into your eyes, your "mirror of the soul", find something you aren´t even aware about. Or unconscious, repressed shame. But I´m not a psychologist. I´m a fan of radical constructivism though, which helps in this case: not believing that it is even possible to detect a person behind its eyes makes you careless about this even if there was anything you don´t want people to realize when looking at you.

 

1) Not at all. Apparently, I also ''flirt'' with girls with eye contact. I don't get it.

2) Hmm.. People, especially ENFPs, go to me '' WHY SO SERIOUS''

3) Confidence and self-conscience-ness. Just be you and live life!

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

3. Ideas for all of the above?

1. Eh. Depends. I almost always avoid eye contact with people unless I have to interact with them. I just pretend to be doing something, staring at something, or really shy. The thing is, when I do make eye contact (again, unless it's for when I'm working/speaking with the person), I stare them down. It always creeps them the fuck out :crazy:

2. Once upon a time I did, but I've gotten over myself. I just have blank expression on, it's rather easy to make me laugh now. Unfortunately though, it seems my neutral expression can look angry if I'm concentrating on something *le sigh*

3. Ideas? I don't know. Try a smile every once in a while? It seems even my bored face can unnerve people, even when I don't look at them. I don't even try to be mean Most of the time...

 

I echo some of the posts that my eyes tend to drift, and unless I make a conscious effort of looking people in the eye, I don't do so naturally. It's uncomfortable. Working in retail for a few years, I had to make a real effort to LOOK at people when I'm talking, so that I'd recognize them when they came in again. I was always too busy looking at what I was talking about, or pointing out to them.

I have had people say they've expereinced some form of 'death glare' from me, and I'd be willing to take a stab that the only reason it stands out so prominently with them is that I don't usually look them in the eye. They're likely so used to me looking past them or around them, or off into space when I'm talking, that when I DO look them dead in the eye, It's my entire focus being brought directly on them. I've had friends tell me this is frigthening/unnerving/intimidating, like I'm judging them, or they feel as though they've just said something stupid...this is sometimes the case, but more generally, it's usually a case of me focusing all my brainpower on exactly they've just said, and analyzing it. This MIGHT be because I'm trying to figure out if what was just said could honestly be so stupid, or could be that I hadn't considered that point of view or thought previously, and I'm figuring out how to incorporate it into what I've always known. I have had moments where people thought I was angry with them because of a 'death stare' of sorts, only to realize that by coincidence I was staring in their direction deep in thought about something, and didn't realize I had 'business brows' on my face externally.

Of course, I also think my 'business brows' or 'strategizing internally' face is very similar to the 'look of disapproval' which I guess might also lead to people thinking I'm unhappy with them - ಠ_ಠ

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

3. Ideas for all of the above?

1.) Sometimes. With people I am usually either drawn to their competence or avoid them. Interactions in which I confront an avoided person result in their intimidation by Terminator-like facial expression and lack of body language. This is their mistake because I am harmless for the most part.

2.) No, but it comes as my thoughts gain intensity.

3.) Unfortunately no.

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

3. Ideas for all of the above?

1. I tend to have very good eye contact when listening, but when speaking I find eye contact to be very distracting so I tend to look away and stare into space while speaking. I'm a visual thinker so this might be part of that.

2. I don't know that I have a Death Glare as a normal facial expression, though I've been told I look pissed off a lot when I'm not. Usually it's when I'm thinking or in "get crap done" mode. I do have a Death Glare that I will intentionally use when I'm less than amused by something. Most people find it unnerving; my significant other thinks it's "cute". *sighs*

3. I look at a lot of the stereotypes as a loose guideline more than anything (assuming the stereotypes are somewhat warranted). Many people will follow some of them, few will follow all of them. Especially since stereotypes are usually based on observable behavior and not thought process.

 

1. No
2. Yes
3. Reserve eye contact for acknowledgement and maintain a bored sidelong glance the rest of the time.

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

3. Ideas for all of the above?

1. Eye contact is troublesome for me, but only with people I don't know or who are in positions of authority over me. Nowadays it is completely calculated - I follow the "commonly prescribed" ratios of eye contact to looking away.

2. I never thought I had a death glare, but back in high school a guy that eventually became my best friend thought that I was "mean" before he met me. I'm actually known for being a "smiley" person so I'm not sure how that happened...

3. Make eye contact during the "content" portions of a conversation, look away during transitions from speaker to listener, then reestablish eye contact. Use "soft" eyes and smile/nod so it's not like you're staring the other person down.

 

3. Make eye contact during the "content" portions of a conversation, look away during transitions from speaker to listener, then reestablish eye contact. Use "soft" eyes and smile/nod so it's not like you're staring the other person down.

This solves pretty much everything. Only exception I remember is when they are angry at someone or something, then you switch to a "understanding" face. The problem is when they ask something and I answer "sorry, I didn't listen to anything you said".

 

I was in a skype video conference a while back, and even though I thought I had my social face on I just had this tired and murderous glare in my screen. And that's why I don't do facetime or any other camera meetings generally, people think I am pissed and just act uncomfortable. I don't think it is my INTJ'ness as much as it is my skull structure.

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

For me, eye contact was never a natural part of communication. I didn't even know this was an expected part of communication until others brought it to my attention. Years later, I'm still not comfortable with maintaining constant eye contact. If I'm really listening to what you're saying, I'm going to get rid of extra stimuli (your face) so I can concentrate better. Unfortunately, that's not how the majority of the population takes it.

Maintaining constant eye contact is a problem because I feel like I'm drilling through the person's thoughts and mind. Furthermore, if they won't release my eyes from their gaze I become overly self-conscious, thinking they are doing the same to me. I once had a date ask me why I couldn't maintain constant eye contact, and I nearly asked him back "Why do you require my constant eye contact? You're not the only interesting thing in this room, you know! I can't just concentrate on you."

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

I reserve the Death Glare for special occasions. It's enough to make my INFJ mother shiver, so I can only imagine how others take it. My usual facial expression is usually described as distant or intense. People who don't know me well tend to ask if I'm sad and tell me to smile more. Yeah, like telling me to plaster a smile on my face will make me want to smile. I guess I'm just thinking all the time, but that thought is seldom translatable to emotion or well-suited for casual verbal interaction.

3. Ideas for all of the above?

Practising eye contact with friends has helped me to start communicating with my eyes, even though it's made me uncomfortable. It's also good to have a few close friends who get that your lack of eye contact doesn't mean you don't care.

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you? Yep, but I think I have a mild form of Asperger's, so that's probably why.


2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression? I have discovered that the "Death Glare" is similar to my resting face-although I tend to "glare"/look at objects rather than in people's general directions.


3. Ideas for all of the above? Look at the spot between the eyes, or the upper part of the nose. People with whom you're talking won't know the difference.

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

can be. not to the point where anyone else would notice, but now and then yes. if i start to overthink how it 'works' i can go down the existentialist rabbit hole and tie myself into knots. but i just ran a quick database check on the eye-colour of all the people i know (that i can think of) and i didn't find too many where i wasn't sure. so i'm assuming i look most people in the eye comfortably enough, most of the time.

i do get twitchy about it occasionally, because the subliminal impression i get back is that it (sometimes) puts other people on edge to get looked at by me too directly or for too long. i don't think it's me. i just have those pale eyes with the dark ring around the iris that do make a person feel kind of caught in the cross-hairs sometimes. trouble is, they change colour and shade depending on light, so i'm never sure at a given moment whether the other person is getting that disturbing parrot-eyed feeling from me or not.

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

i'm sorry if this is going to sound like a rant dropped into the middle of your innocent and legitimate question, but i'm so tired of this Death Glare topic. i can't reliably put my finger on the source of my suspicion that a lot of people must be sitting in front of mirrors practicing it because it would make them seem kind of cool and impressive somehow, but it is a suspicion i have. it's getting, to me, to be like the weird way everyone seems to want to claim that their hair is actually red.

anyway. the short and relevant answer for myself is i don't think so. and i'll apologize for spluttering all over your personal thread.

3. Ideas for all of the above?

i focus a lot more on people's features than just on their eyes. now and then i'll look at the eyes if i feel like it, but . . . okay, try and see it this way. eye contact is more like the old dial-up modem exchange of 'handshaking' protocols when a connection's being set up. just a way of establishing or determining whether you have someone's attention or not. once that question's answered, it's not necessary to keep looking right at their eyes. it's more like when you send out a ping on a network just to see if a machine is out there. you check when you start in talking to make sure you're not rudely interrupting them, you check when you're completing a meme to make sure you haven't left them behind, and also to canvass any responses/reactions they might be having. in between times you can mostly look wherever you like. and you make your own eyes available to them (so to speak) so that its' possible for them to do the same thing as they participate in their half of the conversation.

 

1. Is maintaining eye contact ever an issue with you?

Yes, I can live through a year of class without ever interacting with majority of my classmates, by not talking to them because I have no interest whatsoever in knowing them, and never maintaining eye contact. Maybe it's out of habit, but I tend to always look downward at the floor, anywhere but directly at other people's eyes. I avoid eye contact when I am in a vulnerable situation, like in a mall alone, lights are too bright and sounds are too much and too loud, maybe its anxiety. For me, eye contact alone is interaction, so when I don't want to interact, I basically just stare down at the floor.

2. Do you actually have the Death Glare as a normal facial expression?

Ummm, no, my default expression is the 'deer in the headlights' look, where my eyes seem to be looking off into space, because my mind IS in space. The Death Glare for me is a 'plotting world domination' look, which comes out when I am thinking. When I have reached an answer or thought up a genius design, there would be this evil grin on my face... I admit, I would be scared of that if I weren't me.

I also use the Death Glare to win staring competitions hands down, and to actually purposely intimidate someone into doing my bidding. The funniest thing is when my friend teases me, and I turn on the Death Glare, and they become totally uncomfortable and start asking me what they did wrong and start apologizing and avoiding my eyes when they have actually done nothing wrong, I was just having fun. Apparently they think its cute when I start laughing out loud because I cant hold the stare for that long.

 

I am extremely pragmatic. Eyes are powerful transmitters of vibe and
that is true for most species I believe. Just like with any other type of
body language, you can learn to both project what you want and also
read others. The Death Glare is but one of many tools in my arsenal.