Personality Cafe banner

How to spot a fake INFJ?

34K views 203 replies 94 participants last post by  Tilia  
#1 ·
I'm pretty sure I'm an INFJ after a LOT of research and contemplation. So I would consider myself one. I'm also curious how to spot fake ones, as I'm not really sure how and I know they're out there, and I'd like to talk to other INFJs and stuff. What are some telltale signs of fake ones?
 
#7 · (Edited)
No foolproof signs. Use your own determination and refine it. Hope.

Edit: this has to be a NT invasion
 
#19 ·
So that's why I seriously sucked at dodge ball. This ENTP (?) was an excellent kahuna in teaching how to dodge red, bacteria covered balls...to the face.

 
Image


Se starts off derpy, but it learns. Hit with a wrench a few thousand times and the consequences of not dodging will sink in after recovering from the concussions.
/jest

But to address the topic seriously, I would also promote that the OP learn the MBTI functions. An INFJ is not going to "look" a certain way, despite stereotyped characteristics. If a person demonstrates a problem-solving process that follows the Ni->Fe->Ti->Se sequence, than that person is an INFJ even if they don't fit into nor demonstrate established stereotypes. Same can be said of other MBTI types as well.
 
#10 ·
What are some telltale signs of fake ones?
Generally speaking, "real" INFJs aren't the type to act super happy about it. Not to say that a person can't be excited that their type is known for being hyperunique-psychic-mystic-superlover-poets, but it's just... it's like eating too much cotton candy. A little bit can be nice as a treat, a lot can make you feel like you've overdone it, but too much just leaves you with strange gut pains and horrible dentist visits. Most INFJs take all that sort of stuff with a grain of salt, and don't put too much into it.

That said, who cares if someone is a "real" or "fake" INFJ? If thinking about themselves in that way makes their lives better, it's no skin off my butt whether they're true INFJs or really confused ESTPs.
 
#11 ·
Throw a party, and invite the supposed INFJ.

--If the supposed INFJ shows up, it's probably not an INFJ.

--If the supposed INFJ shows up and seems to be lively and enjoying him-/herself, it's not an INFJ.

--If a known ENFP looks at the supposed INFJ, yawns, and pays no further attention to him or her, it's probably not an INFJ.

--If no one at the party whispers about the supposed INFJ staring at them and being generally creepy, it's probably not an INFJ.

--If the supposed INFJ is seen rushing upstairs with a new friend in hand for purposes of, um, enjoying themselves, it's probably not an INFJ.

--If anyone at the party corners the supposed INFJ, asks a simple question, and does not receive at least twelve different conflicting viewpoints, all of them expressed in unclear and fairly mystical and/or metaphorical terms, it's probably not an INFJ.

--If the supposed INFJ strips to his or her underwear, jumps up on the buffet table, stands in the punch bowl, and starts yodeling, it's probably not an INFJ.

There--easy!
 
#13 ·
@odetoanathema

Firstly, I really like your avatar picture. :happy:

You may well be a genuine infj, as you have managed to attract and amuse our curious NT cousins, not frequently seen in these parts, or at least not all at once. This is an honour, as one must be considered worthy to capture their interest. It makes me happy to see so many of them at once.

None of us really belong here. Infjs are birds of a feather that do not tend to flock together, but rather are inclined towards solitude. If you feel like you don't really belong, then again you may well be right..

Either way, I welcome you and hope you will stay.
 
#16 ·
@odetoanathema looking at this thread again, I realized I forgot to specify that my post was not aimed at you, but rather all of the replies to it. Sorry about that! (As to your actual question, I gave it some consideration but I honestly have no idea).
 
#18 ·
I've been thinking about this topic today,and I find it's really hard to pin traits on INFJs that aren't true of other types. INFJs tend to be very polite, but other types are polite as well. INFJs tend to seek underlying patterns and don't take things at face value. Other types do the same as well. INFJs use big words, and sometimes use vague language. Other types do this as well. INFJs can be pretty oblivious and lack self awareness from time to time, but so will some other types. I guess you would look for a pattern and look for all the traits, and even if they don't have all the traits, and are missing one or two, there's a small chance they can still be an INFJ, but maybe just express themselves differently.

In a way though, it can be easy to spot, because there is that mixture of intellectual opionatedness mixed with a sort of vulnerability of wanting to be liked and/or pleasing to others, even sometimes in an online setting. That wanting to be considered likable but also wanting put your two cents and assert your opinion. Also having that authenticity while being a little bit of a chameleon. I think Fi's when they see the chameleon side of INFJs get the impression that INFJs are not authentic, when, I think a lot of us feel that we are, but the introverted intuition can be so broad and open minded that you can see something in various ways, and pick and idea or assertion that, both has personal meaning to you, but is also somewhat concurrent with popular opinion. You never become fake, because fakery tends to be something distasteful to INFJs, but you become the version of yourself that's best suited to being liked by those around you, because your mind is so broad and expansive it contains something for everyone--with a few notable exceptions, such as incredibly toxic people that you can sense out and who somewhat sicken you to the point, where you often draw the line of wanting to be pleasing.

This is how I see the INFJ psyche,and I think this is why it's so hard to spot a real or fake one, because it's something that can come with so much complexity. Maybe, however, INFJs have the right mixture of depth and populism and if you sense there isn't enough of one or the other, you could maybe start suspecting the possibility that they may not be one, but keep reasonable doubt until you really look at the person much deeper, because a lot of us think we know other users on here, or even people we interact with on a daily basis, but can we say we really know​ the people we interact with?
 
#24 ·
I would think "fake", as in someone pulling a prank, trying to make fun of a particular group, knowingly deceiving, would be quite easy to spot for someone with heightened empathy and ability to read others' cues. Feigning empathy around INFJs would be sort of like pretending to be fluent in French with a native speaker. The only difference is, unlike the French, we wouldn't really care.

I might be another kind of fake, mis-identified. You could certainly give me feedback, suggestions, point me to a nice forum. I like to meet new people =). I did not set out to find a glamorous MB identity and confess I don't think it's super special other than that it gave me an "aha" about myself.

In particular, I have some conflict about thinking vs. feeling, and actually aspire toward I guess an ethical INTJ? I think society run too much by feelings is dangerous. But I don't know if this reflection is more INFJ or INTJ? I discussed the rise of contemporary populism with an INTJ the other night actually, and his response was to not worry because I'm not a vulnerable member of society (economically, racially, in terms of citizenship). I felt on an analytical level we could both reach the same conclusions, based on our values of freedom, civil society, etc., but our emotional reactions were different. So maybe the feeling part isn't needed so much?
 
#25 ·
What if we are all fake INFJ's?!? :shocked:
 
#26 ·
It's really hard to be sure of someone unless you know them intimately (and objectively).
Some things that I've been mulling over though:

- If their type is a core part of "who they are" are a person. Fe doesn't really do personal identity, except as a way to relate to others. An INFJ that's totally obsessed with expressing their INFJ-ness gives off big red flags for me.

- If they naturally go by the facts first and the ideas later. There's probably loads of ISFJ's out there that read the (often very badly written) type descriptions and couldn't see themselves in the ISFJ stereotype. An INFJ that doesn't need to be told every so often to "live in the real world for once" might not be an INFJ

- If they keep spewing ideas without coming to a cohesive picture. INFJ's mull things over for hours, they don't 'brainstorm' well.

- If they go for decisiveness over correctness. INFJ's tend to dislike 'quick fixes' to problems. If you're not doing it perfectly you might as well not do it at all. (granted, peer pressure can be a big factor in 'faking' decisiveness for INFJ's, so look out with this one.)

Just a few thoughts in this. But mostly: get into the cognitive functions if you want to know for sure. The whole story is in there.
 
#34 ·
There are probably no more than 40-50 active posters in the PerC INFJ subforum.
 
#40 ·
There's a few ways you can spot fake infj's but I've found these to be the 2 best ways:


1: Tie a boulder to their ankle and throw them into a large body of water. If they float, INFJ, if they sink then they're INTJ's.
2: Try to set them on fire, if they don't burn congrats you found a real INFJ. If they do burn then they're INFP's.
 
#41 · (Edited)
I can't say I've verified INFJs here to be fake, but I have noticed little things that make me go "Awesome, that is so INFJ on every level," with quite a few INFJs here. Also, I've read what people who previously mistyped as INFJ realized didn't add up. Here's some -possibly- helpful "tips" (I can't help but feel a little odd by this entire thread but hopefully I say nothing offensive.)

What I've noticed about INFJ-esq Users who seem very INFJ:

- They don't brag about being INFJ or always point out the awesomeness that is their Type.

- They know the struggles of being INFJ

- Though they believe others can view them as sometimes cold, or even view themselves this way, they still are keenly aware of their ability to read others and have a deep desire to help others.

- People know them as empathetic, kind, peace seeking individuals and INFJs are proud of that.

- They are smart enough to know kindness is a strength, not a weakness, even if others claim different.

- They don't just want to help those they know, they want to help people as a whole.

- They don't quickly judge other types or claim they are superior, not even hinting as such.

- Their dreams still hold a sense of actually happening, as in, steps are taken to reach said dream and not simply imagined.

- They want peaceful discussion and allow different opinions. In fact, most enjoy it and seem to allow others ideas to inspire something in their own.

- They can laugh at themselves, and Se seems to be their favorite running gag! They seem to enjoy discussing fiction, too, or at least respect that others do instead of finding it strange.

- They know how different they are, yet can also see what makes each person, of any type, special and rare in their own right. They deny no one the belief of being unique, because they know first-hand the real life ups and downs of differing from society and embrace what makes each user a true individual wholeheartedly.
 
#44 · (Edited)
Kind of hard, actually. Because FiNe can look like Fe. And people who use Ne always seem to think they use Ni.

The thing that gives away Ni users for me is typically some bullshit ass logic that only makes sense to them. Maybe they got the right answer, but they normally have some batshit way of getting to it. Ne thoughts are kind of lateral and fleeting, but Ni thoughts seem to make no sense.
 
#48 ·
I don't get why people want to prove fake infjs as fake, rather than proving real infps are infps instead of INFJ, would that not be a better way is to help people embrace their true types instead of pointing out the wrong? And to me I am not someone who feels pride at what I discovered to be INFJ, I understand the rareness of it but I do not feel it as unique or special, just different. some ways better some ways worse than other types, but in the end we are still just people.
 
#49 ·
I don't get why people want to prove fake infjs as fake, rather than proving real infps are infps instead of INFJ, would that not be a better way is to help people embrace their true types instead of pointing out the wrong? And to me I am not someone who feels pride at what I discovered to be INFJ, I understand the rareness of it but I do not feel it as unique or special, just different. some ways better some ways worse than other types, but in the end we are still just people.
Yes, quite so, it's a whimsical question, inviting the several whimsical answers which were posted. Imagine answering something like, "How to spot a fake [picking a country at complete random] Swede...?". Answer: Wears clothing with a Dala Horse motif. Is more than 3 seconds late to a meeting or appointment. Is best friends with a Dane. (etc. etc.)

Oy!