Personality Cafe banner

How would you describe a 4w5 Sp/Sx INFP?

1 reading
30K views 7 replies 8 participants last post by  Sily  
#1 ·
I'm interested in hearing other people's opinions on this. I only found out a few days ago that i am a 4w5 Sp/Sx. Would a 4w5 Sp/Sx INFP come across as being more cold and detached in comparison to other INFPs? The reason why I ask this is because of these facts:

* SP's are the counter sub-types of the 4's.
* We have 5 as our wing.
* From what I've read, 4 and 5 are 'withdrawn' types. Would that mean that we are less likely to share our inner emotions and feelings to others?
* We can resemble type 1's, apparently.

I apologise for posting this in the INFP forum, but I am interested to know how the enneagram type applies to INFP's in particular.
 
#2 ·
*waiting for others with more knowledge to chime in* :kitteh:

This would be an interesting thread to read.
Sorry, I am myself a 4w5 Sp (but no Sx as far as I know), but enneagram doesn't interest me that much so I don't research enough. I know surface stuff.

I would answer your Qs exclusively from a personal POV, not from theory.

come across as being more cold and detached in comparison to other INFPs?
ime yes. Just my experience. I've dealt with INFP Sx-dom in real life, and we are night and day. Now, I have to say that while I'm 4w5, the other INFP is 1w2, so that also makes a difference.
I appear cold, calculating, impossible to read, detached from people, uncurious -even if inside I'm actually interested in the other person, I just appear that way at surface level.
The Sx appears warm, open, eager, chatty, smiley, shy yet curious about people.

4 and 5 are 'withdrawn' types. Would that mean that we are less likely to share our inner emotions and feelings to others
I have no idea about 4s and sharing feelings, but I do know about 5s being detached and withdrawn and all that. I am "less likely to share inner emotions and feelings" only with strangers, friends, when dating someone I don't yet know well & at the work place.
But I am very much open and carefree with an established romantic partner & with my family. I go crazy open.

We can resemble type 1's, apparently.
I do. But like I said, just saying my personal POV. I don't know about everyone else.

I apologise for posting this in the INFP forum
Nah! It's great! :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: fresh
#3 ·
I'm not an Sp/Sx. I'm 4w5 So/Sp but somethings you mentioned about 4w5 I think I can relate to. I do not share emotions as well, unless I'm in a relationship with someone I seriously trust. I also appear very aloof avoidant and withdrawn, anytime I sense someone wanting me to express my emotions my stomach literally shrinks back in my body, almost like it's physically saying "No!". And I can come off very one and reformer like as well. They said 4's integrate into 1's when healthy. I alsoo think the w 5 makes this INFP HATEEEEE to be controlled in anyway and or hates when others offer to do things form them, this is a nuisance in my life and I wis I could relax with people's offers to help.

I think w5 also causes you to gather loads of information and research on a topic before you speak on it. This is true for me, I do not leap before I look, I look, then look again, and keep looking until I see ground, then I leap.
 
#4 ·
Not super knowledgeable about enneagram, but I know I'm a 4w5 and I know I'm sp/sx. Sadly there aren't necessarily descriptions about how the two go together. I have looked. I did not find haha.

I can't provide general descriptions of how these all measure up, so I will just answer your questions in the context of myself :p

Would a 4w5 Sp/Sx INFP come across as being more cold and detached in comparison to other INFPs?
I see the logic of how an INFP 4w5 sp/sx could seem super cold and detached, but I personally wouldn't describe myself as such on the whole. I try to be very engaging, but at the same time, I don't hide my introversion or my true nature.

One of the patterns of my life is that I decide to talk to one person and somehow they end up becoming a really good friend, so in that sense, I definitely identify with SX in the friend making process. I thrive one-on-one. The friend keeping process seems heavily affected by my SP instinct, as I want people close, but not in my space, which causes the most tension in the majority of my relationships. All of these people I've singled out tell me they thought I was an extrovert, probably because of my approach, but once we start to make plans, that's when they learn da truth, lol. In group environments, I'm generally a lot more quiet. I don't know why, I just am, and that is sadly commented on a lot. People get confused by the switch. If I love the group though, then my one-on-one self is present.

There are some environments where I probably seem extremely cold and detached, so this seems to be true in situations where I'm not comfortable, or socializing is not my objective. Typically in group "event" environments or amongst a sea of people, I will revert to my lone wolf ways and will subconsciously don my "don't talk to me" look.

I'm pretty polarizing. I'm either really there, or not even trying. No idea how this would compare to other INFPs...I wanna say that 5-fix INFPs might seem more detached.

Here is a pretty great description of sp/sx that mentions a few things I've described:

This type has a quiet, down-to-earth but mysterious quality. They are intense within but may seem withdrawn to others. They naturally seek intimacy but not at the expense of their independence or emotional security. This may create a pull-push effect, in which they draw others in but detach if they feel like they may get hurt. For the few interpersonal bonds they form, their loyalty is unbreakable, but these alliances make them feel more secure. They attach to others at an organic level, as opposed to the sp/so's formality. They are often unaware of the social dynamics and goals of a group, but they can read an individual with accuracy. When they sense their well-being is in jeopardy, they either completely withdraw or confront the danger head-on. Some have an appetite for wild adventures, which they view as learning experiences. They see their home as a refuge, and they take pride in decorating their surroundings.
From what I've read, 4 and 5 are 'withdrawn' types. Would that mean that we are less likely to share our inner emotions and feelings to others?
Yes. From the sounds of it, the only aspect of us that seems highly motivated to engage is the SX, since engaging can be tumultuous as a 4. Connection is tough to find. I certainly relate to being really selective in who I share things with, to what extent, and when. It is very easy for me to feel discouraged if I don't receive the type of support I need, and so I will detach and not share anything private when that happens. Sometimes the other person doesn't even notice when I do this. I'm very aware of how not sharing deeper aspects of myself affects my relationships to certain people. In my eyes, they have to earn it. One of the hardest lessons for me to learn is that I can't have intensity with everyone...it's just not possible, for me or for them.

Here's a 4w5 description that directly answers your question:

Average 4w5 is emotionally heavy. Powerful, passionate feelings and aesthetic appreciations swell within and then get bottled up inside. 4w5s generally avoid expressing their feelings because they feel that no one could possibly understand them. Like 4w3, they feel special and different, but 4w5 is more likely to withdraw into sullen silence than to make a big public scene. 4w5 and 5w4 both have strong feelings which they repress, but because their feelings are stronger than their repression, 4w5s are more aware than 5w4 of their inner emotional state. Consequently, they are more likely to become depressed. There is a kind of delicacy to 4w5 that is not usually present in 4w3.
As for other possible 4w5 sp/sx observations, I would think we'd be really creative with our environment and home space. Adding the INFP element, I'd guess that we are pretty nostalgic in that regard, and cherish objects that were given to us by those we love. My room is littered with things people have made for me, whether or not they fit my aesthetic. I just feel so special that they care! I also keep oddball souvenirs for wonderful memories...it's almost like I'm adding these memories as part of my environment.

I would assume that the 5 wing/sx combo would make one somewhat obsessive with their interests...I know this happens to me. If I am interested in something, I dive in and do not crawl out until I'm satisfied, frequently annoying those around me by wanting to discuss it so much. But being an INFP, once I've exhausted the interest, I move onto something else, adding to the collection of interests.

I wonder if we'd bring elements of sp/sx into our INFP 4w5 creations...I don't know how but that'd be an interesting thing to explore...
 
#7 ·
I can't speak for others but for me I'm not cold and detached unless I want to be. It seems like an obvious statement but I find that in every scenario I try to be as kind and open as I possibly can. I just want others to not hate me enough to include me in their shenanigans.

The 5 wing of my enneagram is a tool that I use in conjunction with the passion of my 4, it's what gets me to higher levels and without it I would create rubbish.

The Sp part of my personality is clear to me. I am always conscious of whether someone is enjoying me enough to not hate me. I am always assuming that they don't want to hear more as a defence mechanism to not be hurt. I am always on time, or early, never late.

The Sx part is less clear but it fits me better than So. I am very judgemental toward other people who I find less interesting than a standard I have set. If they don't make the cut, they are black listed for ever. I desperately want connection with someone who just flows with me, a person I can spend time with and believe that they actually enjoy my presence and aren't just doing it because they pity me. That would be worse to find out, than being told that they aren't interested in me.
 
#8 ·
My sp is off the charts...

and

...I have lots of 5 traits, but I can't help you with the 4 parts.

2017, don't know if you are still here but --->>

I found an article I really liked here, it's about 4/5 sp -- maybe you can relate to parts?:
 
  • Like
Reactions: LeafStew