[Vain]

(Some people tend to lie about irrelevant things nobody cares about - and then they seethe with joy that they have misled me. And according to the descriptions, most of them are *ENFPs*(^^), INFPs and ENTPs.)

Well, every piece of information in my mind has its source which I remember with this piece of information. So when it comes to relevant things I need to calculate, I consider my sources.
So it's a matter of "how much do I care?".

 

[Vain]

The balance between tact, humor and the quote: "A wise man once said nothing."...


Have a good life, nice guy.

 

[Vain]

would you say you never lied in your whole life, regardless of how little or big of a lie that is? even white lies?

Ofc I do. But I don't lie about irrelevant things for the sake of lying. I don't find that funny nor is it interesting...
I don't think you would've believed me if I told you what stupid things ENFPs, ENTPs and INFPs told me they lied about.

I don't mind of lies, and don't know what'd made the impression I do. I'm far from being a Justice Warrior...

 

[Vain]

Have you considered that maybe they were just being sarcastic or making hyperbole remarks but no intention of lying or hurting your feelings? Just wondering.... [emoji3]


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LMAI... Although I'm not a native English speaker, I've figured what "lie" means.

ENFP: "I have lied to you about so many things. You don't even know I've lied to you."
Me: "Ah... For instance?"
ENFP: "I didn't visit Dan* yesterday*. I only wanted you to think that I visited to see how you react."
Me: "Ah.." (Such a stupid thing to lie about)
ENFP: "Yeah, but that means that you clearly don't know me. I go dancing* every Sunday after work. I don't have time* to visit Dan."
(True story. Changes marked by *)

I wouldn't have believed you if you told me that someone has chatted with you like this, honestly^^
I didn't write about sarcasm/hyperbole remarks. I wrote about stupid lies called pranks.

I should make it clearer, apparently... Using the example above: The ENFP girl seethed with joy that she'd managed to mislead me. That's why I wrote about the relevant VS irrelevant things. She could lie about her favorite color too. I don't mind.
Because such case does make the impression (to her, an ENFP), that she had misled me. While actually...
Again, I don't have any problem with those lies. But they're not the kind of lies I care about.

I'm far from being paranoid and think everyone tries to hurt me, so the other option is clearly irrelevant. XD

 

[Vain]

But the intention was not to mislead or deceive but to understand better the other person's way of thinking plus to challenge my own opinions.

It's obvious that I've considered that as a possible intention. She had explicitly said that she wanted to see my reaction. (To get to know me better.)
I shouldn't have used the verb misleading. It sounds too paranoid and mean, doesn't it?
I need a verb which describes an action of making someone think something which isn't true. A verb which is free of intentions... (Lying but not just lying.)

Sometimes i want my opinions to be challenged without getting personal about it (no personal attacks). In one hand it can be considered a lie because i lied indirectly about agreeing on the other side but in fact i am in the same side as yours. But would that really constitute a lie without basing it from textbook meanings?

I permit...? You can even lie a constituted lie.
If it gives you utility, do it.

What if the enfp above just wanted to see your reactions innocently without the intent to manipulate or deceive you? Or just wanted to know if you know her well.enough. The problem with NFs is that we can be cowardly indirect buch of people. But lying may never be our intention at all. So i think this is more of an issue with understanding and bridging the gap between the differences in the personalities.

I know she doesn't mean to deceive me. I've chosen the wrong verb, as written above...
She can have pure intentions, but she had lied. And the fact that she has done that, somewhat makes the answer to the question "Is it ultimately really that hard to lie to me?":

Not really?

When virtually the answer is:

Well, every piece of information in my mind has its source which I remember with this piece of information. So when it comes to relevant things I need to calculate, I consider my sources.
So it's a matter of "how much do I care?".

And I'll add the thing with the wrong impressions:

And, I am not "here" sitting in your presence; because I think you are not a liar [or haven't lied] - but because, you serve some utility. And perhaps, I enjoy being lied to - similar to yourself, in the opposition.

 

[Vain]

Perhaps you don't actually want a lecture, but since you asked ...

There are a lot! But most do have a negative connotation. That is probably because people don't like being deceived, no matter what the intent was.

To mislead is actually a good word choice with less negative connotation than most of its synonyms. It can be used for purposely allowing someone to think something is not true, perhaps by lying, perhaps by simply not correcting them. But it can also refer to accidentally deceiving someone into making false conclusions, as in "I know that after watching this game, you think that this is a terrible football team. But their performance today is misleading. They usually play much better."

Some others:....

Thank you for this useful and helping information. You gave me way more than I asked, and I take it. Your help is saved and learnt.
So I did use the right word up there.
I hope she understood my perspective and got the right proportions.

to bullshit - to not care if what you are saying is factually true or not, but to focus on what you feel is true, or that you want to be true. Donald Trump is great at this. Often it involves a lot of hyperbole.

If I didn't know you, I would think you wrote this post just to say that. Wouldn't I? XD

to tell a story - this is an older usage not seen much now. You see it in Victorian novels quite a bit. To accuse someone of lying was such an insult, they needed a milder version. "You told a story" was less insulting than "You lied." It also has some of the meaning of bullshitting, in that there is an implication that the person said the version of reality that they wanted to be true, not the one that actually exists.

This is fantastic.