[jcatenaci]

This is funny. As an INFJ about to go on a date with an ENFP and who finds himself more romantically attracted to Ne-doms, I think this tends to be more socionics friendly than MBTI-friendly.

THAT being said, I have a few ENFP lady friends who, in their younger years, were attracted to the ISTJ "military" types, but as they get older, find themselves less attracted to that and more attractive to the INTJ nerdy but SUPER-smart types.

In other words, this chart simplifies romantic compatibility way too much.

And these charts also fail to account for gender differences in romantic preferences and compatibility. My self and other ENFP males generally don't like ISTJ women, as we typically don't want women who will quickly exhaust with us and shoot down all of our ideas. It is better for an ENFP to develop their own Si than rely on an Si dom who functions as an entirely different person because of the differently stacked cognitive functions.

As a male ENFP, I'd much prefer partners who I can either share my Ne thoughts with, or who I could feel safe to reveal my Fi to, which I keep hidden away. I'd figure an ISTJ woman would probably want a rougher-edged guy than an ENFP who likes to act like a clown or prattles on about the dozens of ideas running around in his head. That seems more suited to an NT or another NF woman.

 

[nichya]

Which makes ESTJ my best match, no thanks.

I find Te intriguing however at most I am drawn to the Te of an INTJ. I am much more drawn to introverts. J types.

I think enneagram is much more defining with romantic relationships.

I don't believe in MBTI matches though, I think socionics has a point with that, while at the time, initially it did feel sparks and all that and I was drawn to Fe, it gets messy and doesn't really end well.

 

[ArmchairCommie]

Disclaimer: I still don't know everything about MBTI and I am know nothing about "compatibility" in the romantic sense so take this all with a grain of salt.

While I have never been in a romantic relationship I can speak at least a bit on my relationships with my friends. I don't know if it is just me but most of my friends aren't SJs, in fact I often find fellow ISTJs too boring so unless we have to do a project together I don't really talk much with this type. The ISTJ I talk to most is my father, and even then we only really talk about practical issues as a son and father. I like to think of my relationship to most ISTJs as one of mutual respect about our work ethic but nothing else beyond that. Currently my two of my best friends are an ESFP and ENTP and while I don't necessarily understand their thought processes and I don't really share their values I do find them to be very funny and enjoyable to be around. Then again, I also know this other ENTP who drives me insane so when it comes ENTPs I either love them or hate them. Also I don't talk much with my INTP friend but when I do it is always an engaging discussion about either politics (initiated by me) or scientific theories (initiated by him).

Regardless, the whole notion that relationships can be pre-determined based on type is nonsensical. There are more than seven billion people out there on this Earth and it is highly improbable that only four letters can determine your compatibility with any given one of them. Just because I like hanging around a lot of EPs doesn't mean that every single IJ does as well. And when it comes to romantic relationships I would hope that people are forming them based on far more criteria than just someone's MBTI.

 

[Ridley]

Regardless, the whole notion that relationships can be pre-determined based on type is nonsensical. There are more than seven billion people out there on this Earth and it is highly improbable that only four letters can determine your compatibility with any given one of them. Just because I like hanging around a lot of EPs doesn't mean that every single IJ does as well. And when it comes to romantic relationships I would hope that people are forming them based on far more criteria than just someone's MBTI.

Many charts like the one linked in the OP are just a theory based off of another theory, something put down on paper, but not based off of reality.
Not all charts are that way, I like the one that Keirsey came up with, because he used a sound scientific method, he started without a theory and just watched and observed what people naturally did when given the chance, he looked for patterns in those natural choices that we make and he found that the majority of the patterns were the same, over and over again. The most common patterns were SP/SJ, SJ/SJ, NT/NF, NF/NF and NT/NT.. Oh, can't forget SP/SP, but those usually don't last very long.
Once he figured out the majority of the natural and successful patterns of pairings, he asked WHY does it happen this way? and then he spent a long time figuring it out, he wrote a book on it, you should read it if you get the chance, very informative. He found a whole bunch of useful information, but it seems that the biggest factor in humans choosing mates (personality wise) is S vs N, or Concrete vs Abstract. Each of us thinks in an Abstract or a concrete way, and the thinking style that we have influences and changes the way we speak, and as we know from all the countless relationship experts out there, one of the biggest keys to a successful relationship is communication, an S and an N in a relationship will have communication issues, they think and communicate on different wave lengths.
We don't need a chart to tell us how to find and make relationships and carry on the human race, we have been doing that for a great many years without ever knowing about personality types.



All the chart does is tell us WHY we do it, so that we can understand ourselves and others, and hopefully make the whole pairing up process just a little bit easier/smoother.

 

[autsdraws]

Okay: You're wrong.

You've lumped all sensors together, when there is a huge difference between a Se-dom and a Si-dom. The Si-dom is the person who is likely to avoid theoretical discussions, unless relevance is established. If you establish relevance, they'll will find that an interesting discussion. The Se-dom is quite comfortable discussing various theoretical concepts - just for the fun of the discussion.

I'd always heard it this way:
The Qualities of Sensing and Intuition | CelebrityTypes
But then again, I haven't really read much about the difference between Si and Se, considering that Si is my inferior function and Se is nowhere in sight. So perhaps I've neglected researching that area, so thank you for bringing that up.
However, the majority of my opinion was based on personal experience. But, sure, perhaps I have just not met the right S type (or Se user, as you said) that would actually like to engage in conversations about abstract theories and such....

And then, as you've mentioned, there are always exceptions to the rule, since we are all individuals and so much more than four letters.

so, yes c: I'll keep my eyes open, then.

 

[niss]

I'd always heard it this way:
The Qualities of Sensing and Intuition | CelebrityTypes
But then again, I haven't really read much about the difference between Si and Se, considering that Si is my inferior function and Se is nowhere in sight. So perhaps I've neglected researching that area, so thank you for bringing that up.
However, the majority of my opinion was based on personal experience. But, sure, perhaps I have just not met the right S type (or Se user, as you said) that would actually like to engage in conversations about abstract theories and such....



so, yes c: I'll keep my eyes open, then.

That site's descriptions are ... lacking.

 

[Parrot]

 

The chart is Socionics biased. I like that school of thought and the way it describes relationships. However, cognitive functions do not fully sum up relationship compatibility and this start relies on stereotypes. I also take issue with the "Ideal Match" description of Problems resolved easily, Growth occurs naturally. It's ridiculous as it assumes ENFP-ISTJ, for example, occurs without conflict, like a symbiotic relationship in nature.

ISTJs aren't exactly uncommon, so I've known plenty of ISTJs in relationships and marriages. I would consider the ideal relationships for ISTJs are other SJs. NTJs, SFPs, NFPs, & NTPs can work, if other factors fall in place. Enneagram also plays a large role, too. Some examples of ISTJ relationships I've witnessed:

1. ISTJ 1w9 grandpa & ESFP 1w2 grandma
2. ISTJ 6w5 uncle & ISFP 2w1 aunt
3. Several ESTJ-ISTJ relationships among friends
4. Several ISTJ-xSFJ relationships among friends, as well.
5. I have an ENFP friend getting married to an ISTJ girl, soon. They did hit it off right away.

*For any ISTJs wondering about my credentials I assure you I am a self-described typology expert.

 

[Sela]

Not to say that there aren't ISTJs who love to travel; I think they appreciate it, but it's pretty low on their list of priorities.

That said, I think the best way to get my STJ to do something stressful like a trip is to announce/propose it way in advance, and arrange it all so all he has to do is stick it in his schedule and show up. It's good practice for my inferior Te I guess.

I enjoy travelling, but I'm the one that has to come up with the schedule. I've travelled with a group of friends on two separate occasions to different parts of the country. The first time another person in the group created the agenda. It was too loose for my liking, and I was rather restless as a result. The second time I created the agenda and made all of the arrangements. A couple of people went off and did their own thing, but the majority of the group stuck to the agenda and we all had a great time. I made sure to include things that extroverts would enjoy as well (since most of the group are extroverted) and I think they appreciated that I was so organized and on top of things.

 

[MBTI Enthusiast]

I found this chart and was wondering if anyone could attest to it.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7a/cf/59/7acf59b12e9f52aa15f83470d2f0a056.jpg

There is not an established doctrine for dating in terms of type and there never really could be because of the subjective nature of individuals.

This chart in particular seems to just go about romance by equating people with their MBTI opposite. I will say that if there has been one trend that I have observed in great length amongst friends, family, and classmates it is that romantically I have seen more sensors pair with sensors, and intuitives with intuitives, than I have seen the two romance one another.

I do not think sensor-intuitive relationships are inferior or superior, but there is certainly an interesting tendency for people to date within a comfort zone of sorts.

Agree. I think the chart is off-base, as it asserts that ideal matches are opposites. Opposites may be ideal for some individuals, but definitely not for all. I've come to believe the results of this study are more on target: http://personalitycafe.com/articles/104467-type-marriage-mbti-enneagram.html.

In particular:

Among 375 married couples whose Indicators were obtained in the 1940s, the most frequent situation was for the couple to be alike on three of their four preferences rather than on only two, as would be expected by chance.

The most frequent similarity was on SN, which suggests that seeing things the same way, whether by sensing or by intuition, does more to make a man and woman understandable to each other than a shared preference on EI or TF or JP.

The percent distribution of the couples was as follows:

Alike on all preferences 9
Alike on three 35
Alike on two 33
Alike on one 19
Alike on none 4

Since S/N is the foundation for communication style, I think being alike on S/N can make a big difference for "compatibility".

 

[Simpson17866]

Simplifications like these are why I love Personality Central's pages explain the Joys and Struggles of every combination (I/I or I/E or E/E, N/N or N/S or S/S ...) as opposed to making one look somehow "better" than another.

 

[Geonerd]

I'll give an example from a quick glance at the table - INFP is said to be a perfect match for ENTJ/ESTJ. Don't know about you guys, but I cannot see how the bossy nature of dominant Te is a match to the "free spirit" and "dream-fueled" type that is an INFP.

I am in the process of witnessing the break up of an ESTJ woman /INFP man marriage and it isn't pretty (neither was the marriage). I think it might work if the pair was male ESTJ and female INFP, maybe, since ESTJ tend to be dominant and INFPs not (which is a more common social structure) but the other way around made for the man to be basically de-masculinized by the ESTJ.

 

[Geonerd]

I found this chart and was wondering if anyone could attest to it.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7a/cf/59/7acf59b12e9f52aa15f83470d2f0a056.jpg

This was the first chart I saw that had ISFJ/ISTJ as the ideal match for an ENTP. They almost always put us with INFJs or INTJs. I am married to an ISTJ and my best friend is an ISFJ and I actually do agree it is a good match. I suspect ENTP guys would be more suited to the ISFJ female and the ENTP women be more suited to the ISTJ. Most ENTP women have issues with feeling guys in a relationship because we are blunt in dealing with things and social structures usually assume the woman will be more touchy feely than they guy. I find that feeling guys are too clingy for me.

Of course there are always differences in how and ENTP-ISTJ approach things, but I find they are more often complementing each other over clashing. My husband has some very particular things he likes done and although he has to give me valid reasons for them, I am so laid back, I let him take the lead on those detail things that are important to him. I am way more of a researcher than him (he only researches things that have a direct correlation to him and really hates wasting his time wandering the internet) so he lets me collect the data on vacations, childcare, education, cars, appliances, electronics etc. and then I boil it down for us to make a decision. He is just as antsy sitting around as me so we tend to stay very busy and do like to get out of the house. I find ISTJ are not extreme introverts (in the right atmosphere) and ENTPs are not extreme extroverts so we are not that drastically far off each other in the amount of socializing needed. Also, ENTPs are always looking for how to improve things (sometimes unnecessarily) so we tend not to let relationships get stale or let things fester which correlates well to an ISTJ. An ISTJ is probably not going to start a conversation about the relationship, but are very good at listening and implementing when the ideas are something that are supportive to keeping things going. ISTJs tend to like directness when people talk to them and ENTPs tend to be bluntly direct (and ISTJ can handle it and not get offended easily).

 

[Geonerd]

They have ESFJ/INTJ as the worst match with each other and my parents (my mom is ESFJ and my dad is INTJ) have been (mostly) happily married for 45 years. Like any relationship, you have to work on communication but the most important thing is that your ideals, goals, and general approach to life align. I don't care how good two types look on paper but if you have completely different goals in life, you are not going to be a successful relationship without a lot of compromise.

 

[Geonerd]

I found this chart and was wondering if anyone could attest to it.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7a/cf/59/7acf59b12e9f52aa15f83470d2f0a056.jpg

Where is this originally from? It is very different than other charts I have seen out there since ENTPs are usually shown as compatible with INTJs and INFJs and ISTJs and ISFJs are more neutral. In a way this makes sense in that ENTPs share the same cognitive functions with ISFJs (and some with ISTJs) and that Te actually acts similar to Ne in a way. I actually think Ne-Ni is harder to understand than Ne-Te.

 

[myst91]

Eh this chart is no good.

(...) But for some reason ESFJ really works for me. The majority of ISTPs around here can't stand Fe-doms, though. Fe rubs them wrong way. But quite a few of them report being happily married to ISFJs. Who don't interest me at all. Some ISTPs can't stand NFs, many ISTPs find great connections with them. (I do.)

This is interesting, would pretty much go against the idea of converting ISTP into ISTj in Socionics.

It's also interesting how you say you are fine with Fe-doms yet you are ISTP, so what other factors are in this in your opinion if you found any beyond it simply being "personal taste"?

I don't believe in MBTI matches though, I think socionics has a point with that, while at the time, initially it did feel sparks and all that and I was drawn to Fe, it gets messy and doesn't really end well.

Yeah, socionics has this sorted differently (how well it works is another question for sure). Let me repeat, differently. So even if socionics ideas work (to some degree), I find these MBTI ideas floating around about compatibility borrowed from socionics very bad; specifically because there is no 1:1 correspondence in translating between the two systems, at least that J/P conversion method does not work properly. So using the assumptions from Socionics results in complete mess when applied in this -different- system.

Socionics "dual" relationships are crap, and come from a cultural perspective that genuinely hates the independence loving "free spirit" types and feels that they require someone who can beat them into submission and make them into an SJ, with time.

Sounds like you subscribed too to the wrong ideas on how to translate from MBTI to Socionics. Not saying the theory is perfect or anything, though.

I've seen the same trend. Personally, While I know ISTP is a massive struggle for me, the shared functions are too appealing for me to pass on. Requires much less talking, even when I disagree, everything just makes sense. I also love the no BS quality.

Well, shared functions in Socionics, sure.

Okay: You're wrong.

You've lumped all sensors together, when there is a huge difference between a Se-dom and a Si-dom. The Si-dom is the person who is likely to avoid theoretical discussions, unless relevance is established. If you establish relevance, they'll will find that an interesting discussion. The Se-dom is quite comfortable discussing various theoretical concepts - just for the fun of the discussion.

And then, as you've mentioned, there are always exceptions to the rule, since we are all individuals and so much more than four letters.

Why is Se comfortable with that in your opinion?

 

[nichya]

Yeah, socionics has this sorted differently (how well it works is another question for sure). Let me repeat, differently. So even if socionics ideas work (to some degree), I find these MBTI ideas floating around about compatibility borrowed from socionics very bad; specifically because there is no 1:1 correspondence in translating between the two systems, at least that J/P conversion method does not work properly. So using the assumptions from Socionics results in complete mess when applied in this, different system.

Care to explain? Well, I think though socionics is good with potential pitfalls and challenges but I don't believe in my dual being the best type. Yes I agree, the conversion is a myth, I think socionics is based on id and somewhat ego while MBTI is strictly only ego, since introvert's id and ego is not the same as it is for extroverts, it is a kind of big deal. I type as IEI on socionics, because of my id but I find intertype relations work well with my ego, especially in explaining why my supposedly best match of MBTI is extinguishment kind.

 

[Feral sheep]

esfp seem like they would rock my world

 

[niss]

Why is Se comfortable with that in your opinion?

Se isn't comfortable with anything - it is merely a description of a cognitively preferred way of thinking. A Se dom, or a Se aux will engage in the theoretical because it provides an outlet to avoid their most basic fear - that of a static situation. To put it another way, they are escaping their fear of boredom.

 

[aus2020]

I think the chart is too arbitrary. There are many other factors, beyond mbti types, such as: interests, priorities, personal likes/dislikes, etc., etc., which can be more important in determining long term compatibility.

 

[petitpèlerin]

This is interesting, would pretty much go against the idea of converting ISTP into ISTj in Socionics.

I'll take your word for that. I have no interest in Socionics, just MBTI.

It's also interesting how you say you are fine with Fe-doms yet you are ISTP, so what other factors are in this in your opinion if you found any beyond it simply being "personal taste"?

Well, "personal taste" is the mysterious part, since it can't be explained, it just is or is not. I've noticed, though, that part of the attraction for me is that Fe-doms do so well what I struggle to do. I admire their ability to manage social relationships, be aware of and attentive to people's feelings, find a solution to a problem that everyone can live with, put people at ease, make new friends, etc. It's just attractive to me, and I try to learn from it, and I like to be part of their social life. I like to be part of their inner circle. But for me the attraction is mostly just to Fe-doms, not so much to IxFJs.

I don't see Fe-doms as fundamentally "irrational" and "emotional" like many Ti-doms do. Everyone is a little genius, and I admire the particular genius of dominant Fe. I usually hit it off with dominant feelers (ExFJs and IxFPs) and can understand their way of being. I'm far more likely to see auxiliary feelers (IxFJs and ExFPs) as too irrational and emotional, unless they're very highly integrated people (as my good ENFP friend is.) When they're immature and hung up on their feeling function they irritate me. (I'm thinking of several ISFJs I know, and some ESFPs.) I'm not sure why, I'm just speaking from experience.

Maybe it's because when an F-dom uses their feeling function they own it. I respect that. Their feeling judgement is different than my thinking judgement but it's usually very good. And as an ISTP I particularly value competence.