Hi Everyone,
I'm new to this forum, and relatively new to personality typing. I'm trying to figure out my type, and especially concerned about whether I am an F or a T. Help and advice would be greatly appreciated. I suspect you will find me a particularly unusual and challenging case. I will explain why after completing the questionnaire.
1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?
When taking on-line tests the results are generally INTJ or INFJ. I can mostly relate to the I, N and J parts; but, when tying to place myself in the T/F axis I am confused. I see very extreme but inconsistent T and F tendencies at different times in my life, and in different areas of my life.
I have the logical analytical ability and academic success typical of an INTJ (VERY VERY much so!); rather than the insights into people typical of the INFJ (though my skills there are improving). I often get intuitions about people, but for most of my life I have told myself that my insights are worthless, and brushed them aside or ignored them. I have often distrusted my instincts about people, and often find people very confusing.
I have the typical weaknesses of an INFJ rather than an INTJ. Also aspects of my character seem more like those of an INFJ than an INTJ.
2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?
A lot of the time I feel very isolated and alone, and yearn to have closer and more intimate friendships and romantic relationships. This is an extremely strong drive in response to an extremely deep pain.
I also also have a strong desire to help others and make the world a better place. During periods of my life when I don't feel isolated and alone, my desire to help others becomes extremely strong, and pretty much takes over my life, and becomes the reason for my existence. Having said that, when I am in pain I become narcissistic, and focus a lot on trying to solve my own problems.
3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.
When I was with my ex-fiancée. I was emotionally happy and content due to my relationship with her. I became an extremely giving caring person who put the needs of others before my own. I loved that side of myself. There were moments when I felt totally overwhelmed by my desire to help those in need, and I gave myself totally to those feelings.
I could also have written about academic achievements here, times when I pushed myself incredibly hard and got good grades (first class honors in a physics degree!); but actually, I don't value my academic ability nearly as much as I value helping others.
4) What makes you feel inferior?
I worry a great deal about my ability to form close friendships and healthy romantic relationships. I find it hard to be open with others, and for a lot of my life I have been very insecure about my interpersonal skills, though this is improving very rapidly.
5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
It's hard to answer this question. What sort of decisions?
I think things through a lot and carefully, especially if the stakes are high. I think about the pros and cons and all of the different options, and the various possible consequences. I also take my feelings into account, or I carry on thinking things through, until my logically preferred option and my feelings/instincts are in agreement).
6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?
Sometimes I throw myself at things and put an incredible amount of energy into sorting them out. I get into the details of a problem a lot, (and sometimes get side tracked), but I also have a good understanding of the "big picture" (without always focusing on it very much). I like to have some input into the direction and path of the project, though this isn't essential if I respect the expertise of the person giving me instructions. I get very frustrated if told to follow instructions that do not make sense or aren't a good idea.
7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?
This will sound sad, but I don't really value fun that much. I prefer to be getting on with things, solving problems, and sorting stuff out. That's not because I particularly enjoy work or solving problems, but it is satisfying.
8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc)
I tend to have a very good grasp of abstract concepts and ideas. I'm a scientist, my work is very theoretical and related to quantum physics.
Having said that, when learning to do something new, I need to try it out myself. If someone sits down and teaches me how to use a new piece of software I won't take the information in. If they sit down with me while I try to do it myself, and let me ask them how things work then I'll pick it up quickly.
9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?
I am very untidy, and my home is very cluttered. When I was younger I was very bad at remembering appointments, but I learned to carefully keep everything in a diary and this allows me to keep track of things.
At home I like to come up with systems of where everything belongs to keep the place tidy, but in practice I never pick up after myself, and there is clutter all over my desk, floor, and pretty much every flat surface.
On my bookshelf I put all of my books in order of size. (They are sorted primarily by height, books of equal height are sorted by width, books of equal height and width are sorted by thickness.)
10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?
Both of these. I'm very logical. I'm perhaps more naturally inclined to understand things on the basis of how they fit in with the theory; but also, as a scientist, I feel that the agreement with the observed evidence is the bottom line when evaluating any theory.
11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?
This is hard to answer because I can relate to both. Being true to myself is very important to me; but I also very much want to smooth over disagreements, so I often bite my tongue when I disagree with someone.
12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?
I always think before speaking. I strongly prefer one-on-one communication.
13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?
I always think carefully beforehand. Yes, I believe that actions speak louder than works; unfortunately people can be very insincere.
14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?
I will want to watch the show (actually I'm more likely to be doing something on the computer than watch TV, but that probably isn't the point is it?).
15) How do you act when you're stressed out?
I become irritable, stressed, indecisive, and much less productive. I start to dither.
16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?
I find it very hard to trust people. I can be very sensitive and often feel hurt by people. I'm very sensitive to criticism (not so much academically, but I take socially/personally criticism very personally). I hate it when people don't communicate with me clearly, because they I often find them confusing. I hate it that so many people are so selfish (billions of dollars get spent on wine, chocolate and luxuries, while thousands of children die in squalor - how can people care so little?). I get very irritated by people who are shallow, manipulative, or who mess up society by promoting bonkers religious/political views.
17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?
I like it when people come to me to talk about their problems, or when I can talk to them about mine. Neither of these happens particularly often. I like talking about myself, and what makes me tick, though I don't often feel comfortable disclosing much of that information to people.
18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life
This is hard to answer. I pay a lot of attention to my career, my finances, my social life, my emotional well-being, my physical health and fitness. I don't think there is any part of my life that I neglect. I'm pretty pro-active in all areas.
19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?
People in different areas of my life probably perceive me very differently.
People who meet me at work or at uni probably see me as very quiet, reserved and not very social. That's partly because I prefer to socialize with other people; also partly because the noise levels in the office make it hard for me to hear them and take part in conversations in the office.
People who meet me at parties or social events probably see me as very loud, extroverted, funny, charismatic, and confident. That's partly an act that I put on in those environments. I'm a very quiet person underneath that. Putting on an extroverted persona is emotionally exhausting, but I am very good at it.
My ex-fiancée used to say that I am incredibly caring, and that I understood her better than she understood herself; she was right about both, but I don't think many other people would say that about me.
My mum thinks that I am very wise and have great insights into life and very high emotional intelligence; I like to think that she's right.
My dad thinks that I'm a semi-autistic intellectual with a vast logical intelligence, but no people skills. I'm a male-to-female transsexual and he has a vested interest in seeing me according to male sterio-types; having said that, for much of my life I also saw myself as a very logical intellectual with no people skills, and this is a source of much insecurity.
Over the course of my life some of my friends have felt sorry for me because they have seen how isolated I tend to be. They have probably seen me as very introverted and/or anti-social; they've probably been right a lot of the time.
20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?
Researching random stuff on the Internet (currently on an obsessive quest to understand people and human psychology, which is why I'm here)
If you had asked me a year ago, I would have answered differently. I was very keen on researching and writing about religion back then. I see religion as a very destructive force in the world, and I wanted to make the world a better place by writing a website which challenges some of the more destructive and illogical aspects of religions thinking.
If you had asked me several years ago, I would have said computer games. Or trying to understand science.
So that's the questionnaire done, and you probably noticed that I have some fairly blatant INTJ traits combined with some fairly blatant INFJ traits.
I guess there are four possible explanations for why I seem to inconsistent.
1) Perhaps I am in INFJ who just happens to be very good at science and not so great with people. I have a good friend who believes she is an INFJ, and also says she has Aspergers syndrome. Is it even possible for the two to go together? Could I be similar?
2) Perhaps I am an INTJ who has be come very miserable because of social difficulties, and thus ended up valuing and developing my F side far more than is normal for an INTJ. Or perhaps I'm just and INFJ wanna-be.
3) Perhaps I'm an INFJ, but my lack of understanding of people arose, because I was taught to believe that I would not be any good at that. I was encouraged to think of myself as the socially inept academic type person, and this belief may have prevented me from developing my people skills as an INFJ normally would. Perhaps I'm not even as bad at understanding people as I've always thought!
4) I wonder if my Myers-Briggs personality type may have changed quite dramatically over the course of my life. I suspect that if I had been tested in childhood I would have been on the INTJ/INFJ borderline, with a balance of the two traits. During my teenage years and early twenties I became very focused on maths, science logic, and came to value logic far more than feelings. I would probably have consistently typed as INTJ during that period. I became much much more feelings orientated over my mid twenties.
If anyone can let me know my type, and why I seem to have an odd combination of traits. Is it one of the above four explanations, or something else entirely. I would be very grateful for advice.
There is a bit more information that you may find interesting. As I mentioned, I am a male-to-female transsexual. My transition started in my early twenties and I begun taking large doses of oestrogen hrt. I still had the skills of an INTJ, but my values and character tenancies seem to have changed from INTJ to INFJ since then. I think my understanding of people has improved an enormous over that period as-well, and I am gaining more understanding at breathtaking speed. Could the oestrogen have re-wired my brain?
For many years I was at war with myself. I tried to force myself to become more masculine, because I thought that was necessary to fit in; then I realized that was impossible, and came to love my femininity. I also spent many years trying to force myself to be more logical and despising the emotional / social side of my nature. I didn't realize it at the time, but maybe something flipped in that battle too; I went from T to F, and started to love the F side of my nature. Have I ended up as an INFJ soul inside an INTJ mind – lol. Though I guess that if I learn to trust my instincts about people and gain more understanding of my new personality the transformation to be complete. I've certainly come to understand far better as I've been reading about the characteristics of the INFJ type.
Thank you for reading, please let me know what you make of that. In particular, I really want to know whether I am:
- an INFJ with poor people skills who happens to be very good at science?
- an INFJ wanna-be who is actually an INTJ?
- borderline between INTJ and INFJ?
- a strange hybrid of the two?
- or perhaps something else entirely?
Thank you very much for your time and advice, and sorry for such a long and rambling post.
I'm new to this forum, and relatively new to personality typing. I'm trying to figure out my type, and especially concerned about whether I am an F or a T. Help and advice would be greatly appreciated. I suspect you will find me a particularly unusual and challenging case. I will explain why after completing the questionnaire.
1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?
When taking on-line tests the results are generally INTJ or INFJ. I can mostly relate to the I, N and J parts; but, when tying to place myself in the T/F axis I am confused. I see very extreme but inconsistent T and F tendencies at different times in my life, and in different areas of my life.
I have the logical analytical ability and academic success typical of an INTJ (VERY VERY much so!); rather than the insights into people typical of the INFJ (though my skills there are improving). I often get intuitions about people, but for most of my life I have told myself that my insights are worthless, and brushed them aside or ignored them. I have often distrusted my instincts about people, and often find people very confusing.
I have the typical weaknesses of an INFJ rather than an INTJ. Also aspects of my character seem more like those of an INFJ than an INTJ.
2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?
A lot of the time I feel very isolated and alone, and yearn to have closer and more intimate friendships and romantic relationships. This is an extremely strong drive in response to an extremely deep pain.
I also also have a strong desire to help others and make the world a better place. During periods of my life when I don't feel isolated and alone, my desire to help others becomes extremely strong, and pretty much takes over my life, and becomes the reason for my existence. Having said that, when I am in pain I become narcissistic, and focus a lot on trying to solve my own problems.
3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.
When I was with my ex-fiancée. I was emotionally happy and content due to my relationship with her. I became an extremely giving caring person who put the needs of others before my own. I loved that side of myself. There were moments when I felt totally overwhelmed by my desire to help those in need, and I gave myself totally to those feelings.
I could also have written about academic achievements here, times when I pushed myself incredibly hard and got good grades (first class honors in a physics degree!); but actually, I don't value my academic ability nearly as much as I value helping others.
4) What makes you feel inferior?
I worry a great deal about my ability to form close friendships and healthy romantic relationships. I find it hard to be open with others, and for a lot of my life I have been very insecure about my interpersonal skills, though this is improving very rapidly.
5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
It's hard to answer this question. What sort of decisions?
I think things through a lot and carefully, especially if the stakes are high. I think about the pros and cons and all of the different options, and the various possible consequences. I also take my feelings into account, or I carry on thinking things through, until my logically preferred option and my feelings/instincts are in agreement).
6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?
Sometimes I throw myself at things and put an incredible amount of energy into sorting them out. I get into the details of a problem a lot, (and sometimes get side tracked), but I also have a good understanding of the "big picture" (without always focusing on it very much). I like to have some input into the direction and path of the project, though this isn't essential if I respect the expertise of the person giving me instructions. I get very frustrated if told to follow instructions that do not make sense or aren't a good idea.
7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?
This will sound sad, but I don't really value fun that much. I prefer to be getting on with things, solving problems, and sorting stuff out. That's not because I particularly enjoy work or solving problems, but it is satisfying.
8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc)
I tend to have a very good grasp of abstract concepts and ideas. I'm a scientist, my work is very theoretical and related to quantum physics.
Having said that, when learning to do something new, I need to try it out myself. If someone sits down and teaches me how to use a new piece of software I won't take the information in. If they sit down with me while I try to do it myself, and let me ask them how things work then I'll pick it up quickly.
9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?
I am very untidy, and my home is very cluttered. When I was younger I was very bad at remembering appointments, but I learned to carefully keep everything in a diary and this allows me to keep track of things.
At home I like to come up with systems of where everything belongs to keep the place tidy, but in practice I never pick up after myself, and there is clutter all over my desk, floor, and pretty much every flat surface.
On my bookshelf I put all of my books in order of size. (They are sorted primarily by height, books of equal height are sorted by width, books of equal height and width are sorted by thickness.)
10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?
Both of these. I'm very logical. I'm perhaps more naturally inclined to understand things on the basis of how they fit in with the theory; but also, as a scientist, I feel that the agreement with the observed evidence is the bottom line when evaluating any theory.
11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?
This is hard to answer because I can relate to both. Being true to myself is very important to me; but I also very much want to smooth over disagreements, so I often bite my tongue when I disagree with someone.
12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?
I always think before speaking. I strongly prefer one-on-one communication.
13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?
I always think carefully beforehand. Yes, I believe that actions speak louder than works; unfortunately people can be very insincere.
14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?
I will want to watch the show (actually I'm more likely to be doing something on the computer than watch TV, but that probably isn't the point is it?).
15) How do you act when you're stressed out?
I become irritable, stressed, indecisive, and much less productive. I start to dither.
16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?
I find it very hard to trust people. I can be very sensitive and often feel hurt by people. I'm very sensitive to criticism (not so much academically, but I take socially/personally criticism very personally). I hate it when people don't communicate with me clearly, because they I often find them confusing. I hate it that so many people are so selfish (billions of dollars get spent on wine, chocolate and luxuries, while thousands of children die in squalor - how can people care so little?). I get very irritated by people who are shallow, manipulative, or who mess up society by promoting bonkers religious/political views.
17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?
I like it when people come to me to talk about their problems, or when I can talk to them about mine. Neither of these happens particularly often. I like talking about myself, and what makes me tick, though I don't often feel comfortable disclosing much of that information to people.
18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life
This is hard to answer. I pay a lot of attention to my career, my finances, my social life, my emotional well-being, my physical health and fitness. I don't think there is any part of my life that I neglect. I'm pretty pro-active in all areas.
19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?
People in different areas of my life probably perceive me very differently.
People who meet me at work or at uni probably see me as very quiet, reserved and not very social. That's partly because I prefer to socialize with other people; also partly because the noise levels in the office make it hard for me to hear them and take part in conversations in the office.
People who meet me at parties or social events probably see me as very loud, extroverted, funny, charismatic, and confident. That's partly an act that I put on in those environments. I'm a very quiet person underneath that. Putting on an extroverted persona is emotionally exhausting, but I am very good at it.
My ex-fiancée used to say that I am incredibly caring, and that I understood her better than she understood herself; she was right about both, but I don't think many other people would say that about me.
My mum thinks that I am very wise and have great insights into life and very high emotional intelligence; I like to think that she's right.
My dad thinks that I'm a semi-autistic intellectual with a vast logical intelligence, but no people skills. I'm a male-to-female transsexual and he has a vested interest in seeing me according to male sterio-types; having said that, for much of my life I also saw myself as a very logical intellectual with no people skills, and this is a source of much insecurity.
Over the course of my life some of my friends have felt sorry for me because they have seen how isolated I tend to be. They have probably seen me as very introverted and/or anti-social; they've probably been right a lot of the time.
20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?
Researching random stuff on the Internet (currently on an obsessive quest to understand people and human psychology, which is why I'm here)
If you had asked me a year ago, I would have answered differently. I was very keen on researching and writing about religion back then. I see religion as a very destructive force in the world, and I wanted to make the world a better place by writing a website which challenges some of the more destructive and illogical aspects of religions thinking.
If you had asked me several years ago, I would have said computer games. Or trying to understand science.
So that's the questionnaire done, and you probably noticed that I have some fairly blatant INTJ traits combined with some fairly blatant INFJ traits.
I guess there are four possible explanations for why I seem to inconsistent.
1) Perhaps I am in INFJ who just happens to be very good at science and not so great with people. I have a good friend who believes she is an INFJ, and also says she has Aspergers syndrome. Is it even possible for the two to go together? Could I be similar?
2) Perhaps I am an INTJ who has be come very miserable because of social difficulties, and thus ended up valuing and developing my F side far more than is normal for an INTJ. Or perhaps I'm just and INFJ wanna-be.
3) Perhaps I'm an INFJ, but my lack of understanding of people arose, because I was taught to believe that I would not be any good at that. I was encouraged to think of myself as the socially inept academic type person, and this belief may have prevented me from developing my people skills as an INFJ normally would. Perhaps I'm not even as bad at understanding people as I've always thought!
4) I wonder if my Myers-Briggs personality type may have changed quite dramatically over the course of my life. I suspect that if I had been tested in childhood I would have been on the INTJ/INFJ borderline, with a balance of the two traits. During my teenage years and early twenties I became very focused on maths, science logic, and came to value logic far more than feelings. I would probably have consistently typed as INTJ during that period. I became much much more feelings orientated over my mid twenties.
If anyone can let me know my type, and why I seem to have an odd combination of traits. Is it one of the above four explanations, or something else entirely. I would be very grateful for advice.
There is a bit more information that you may find interesting. As I mentioned, I am a male-to-female transsexual. My transition started in my early twenties and I begun taking large doses of oestrogen hrt. I still had the skills of an INTJ, but my values and character tenancies seem to have changed from INTJ to INFJ since then. I think my understanding of people has improved an enormous over that period as-well, and I am gaining more understanding at breathtaking speed. Could the oestrogen have re-wired my brain?
For many years I was at war with myself. I tried to force myself to become more masculine, because I thought that was necessary to fit in; then I realized that was impossible, and came to love my femininity. I also spent many years trying to force myself to be more logical and despising the emotional / social side of my nature. I didn't realize it at the time, but maybe something flipped in that battle too; I went from T to F, and started to love the F side of my nature. Have I ended up as an INFJ soul inside an INTJ mind – lol. Though I guess that if I learn to trust my instincts about people and gain more understanding of my new personality the transformation to be complete. I've certainly come to understand far better as I've been reading about the characteristics of the INFJ type.
Thank you for reading, please let me know what you make of that. In particular, I really want to know whether I am:
- an INFJ with poor people skills who happens to be very good at science?
- an INFJ wanna-be who is actually an INTJ?
- borderline between INTJ and INFJ?
- a strange hybrid of the two?
- or perhaps something else entirely?
Thank you very much for your time and advice, and sorry for such a long and rambling post.
