Imagine the cutest most cuddliest teddy bear imaginable. Now imagine that same teddy bear stuffed with rusty old razors laced with cyanide. :tongue:

 

...Dead ... on....

 

We're pretty much the same as the men. Just with girly bits

 

I want to touch your girly bits.

 

Very intimidating.

 

Men....

Just kidding, men aren't quite as scary

 

Some people say I'm intimidating; my father says I have "command presence." I'm 5'3" and 95 pounds.

I have most of the typical INTJ characteristics, including the ones you mentioned. Here are a few stereotypes that describe me: independent, logical, decisive, confident, generally considered stoic, rarely enjoy smalltalk, have no trouble cutting people out of my life if necessary, extremely loyal, etc.

I spend most of my time in my room, at class, or sitting in another location where I can think. I typically only crawl out of my shell to be with friends or to date.

 

In reality, just another human being.

 

Okay, serious answer.

Intimidating is probably the word most often used to describe us. We don't broadcast our emotions which makes it difficult to get a read on what we're thinking/feeling. Independent, analytical, efficient, pragmatic, sarcastic, we don't suffer fools lightly. We generally avoid small talk and prefer meaningful discussion.

If I'm not at home hiding from the world you'll most likely find me in the bush or an airport.

 

I don't speak much or show much emotion, so some people assume I'm proud or haughty. I've been called "cute" by my friends before, though, so I guess I'm not intimidating. I am called "intense."

I'm a bit sarcastic. I don't voice my opinions much but when I do think I come across as a little too forceful. When people ask me things I'm straightforward and blunt, though sometimes I try to offset this with a smile (but not usually). I'm probably a lot more awkward than I think I am.

I'm usually at a bookstore, park, or at home. I probably spend 90% of my time at home.

 

@meltedbutter - I have heard that I am intimidating too. lol

I guess that part of it is because a lot of INTJs don't smile at people we don't know, we don't necessarily enjoy small talk, we can be very impersonal due to rigid boundaries, etc. Our work-before-play philosophy and the fact that many of us are very hard working can make INTJ women seem less approachable too. (Some men tend to see intelligent, driven and independent women as threatening, so it's not like INTJ women attract the majority of men.)
A person who wants to take care of a woman need not bother with an INTJ woman. I believe that generally, INTJ women expect a partnership - I won't conform to traditional feminine gender roles and I won't choose a partner who expects me to change my life to accommodate his needs. Chances are that I will compromise, but only if it is logical to do so and it has to be give and take.

A lot of INTJs have a hard time picking up on some of the social games played. I am actually quite good at small talk and putting people at ease, but I never really understood flirting. I can't do it myself (I would feel utterly ridiculous) and I would never realize if anyone hit on me, unless it is blatant and then I would freak out and think "This person doesn't even KNOW me - why is he hitting on me? Creepy!". I think that most of us would rather be appreciated for our brains than for our looks.

We don't have time or energy for drama, which can be anything from a discussion where someone 'plays the devil's advocate' to unfounded criticism or constant whining about work and so on. We may prefer solitude to snuggling at times.

It is not easy for us to talk about feelings, so when we do it is important for us to feel that we are heard or we tend to shut down completely. Generally, a person only get so many chances to upset us and after that he/she is cut out of our lives. It sounds cold, but it does not happen easily. The times I have cut people out, it has been well past a point that most people would have considered acceptable. I think that since we often do not show 'negative' feelings (hurt, sorrow, fear, etc), we are sometimes seen as invincible and treated that way by people close to us. I think that many INTJs are extremely sensitive, we just tend to keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves a lot and tend to deal with issues in a logical way (and internally), rather than 'acting out'.

 

A lot of INTJs have a hard time picking up on some of the social games played. I am actually quite good at small talk and putting people at ease, but I never really understood flirting.

I agree about the social games. I just thought the second sentence above was interesting because I'm the complete opposite.

I've learned how to go through the motions of small talk, but people can usually tell that I'm impatient and not really engaged in it. Flirting on the other hand is something I'm renowned for. I love the word play, innuendos and double entendres. Unfortunately, it occasionally gets me into trouble. I do it just for fun, and most people recognize that, but some of the more insecure types tend to miss my intent. It has led to some interesting confrontations with some jealous wives and girlfriends over the years. Ooops!

 

I am an ENFP female & also find INFJ fascinating. Although I am not aware if I've ever meet a male INFJ nor am I sure what one would be like, but the connection I have found with other INFJ females is amazing. Life just seems wonderful around them as it's the first time I have ever felt heard or understood. I am married to an INTP, but secretly wonder what a relationship with an INFJ would look like.

I have known many INTJs through out my life, and find a love/hate relationship with them. Often the latter with the women I've met. My brother & son & a few friends are INTJs as well as 4 women I am thinking about while writing this. I find INTJs are non responders, which drives me nuts. They don't put as much focus on the relationships like I do. They are hard to draw out of their shell, I feel like it can be like pulling teeth to get them into a good conversation. I can only ask so many questions. They do tend to like things just so. They take good care of their homes, keep it neat & clean, almost to a perfection and keep things very regulated & very controlling of their kids. They don't seem to live in freedom or out of the box as much as us ENFPs. They are good at showing what they are good at to others, so they paint a pretty picture of themselves, so I feel attracted to the show they put out there, but I feel rather constrained around them & often bored, there is no dreamy aspect. I know they have a mysterious depth to them, but it's not emotionally connected, IME. I am probably too much for them also. These are the women I often butt heads with but also feel this strong pull to get along, but I finally resolve its just not going to work.

Where to find them? Outdoor hikes, library, bookstores, volunteer organizations helping the environment or restoring natural vegetation, science related clubs or volunteer opportunities, birding hikes, etc, online.

 

Icy and scary on the outside, warm and friendly on the inside.

 

I wouldn't know, I'm a cat.

 

I'm not sure if i've ever met one before. I've met male INTJs, and i know that they can be very resolute, very independent and very logical- with a surprisingly romantic/sentimental twist when you delve far enough.

I know a female who is certainly an INTJ and she's just as you described her and as jayde here succinctly summed it up:

We're pretty much the same as the men. Just with girly bits

Anything to point out that might interest you:
She needs intellectual stimuli and to travel/gain new knowledge. If you don't keep up with her or limit her, she will grow dissatisfied and likely break up (matter of compatibility). Otherwise she's loyal. She likes sex and sometimes sentimental/silly presents/signs of affection. Likes to be told she's loved.

Being an INTJ doesn't (necessarily) mean being a robot.

 

@jayde :laughing:

The small talk piece is more when I am 'forced' to do so, for example, when I interact with Japanese vendors during a 'mandatory' business lunch, hosting a dinner party (about once every 5 years or so), when my MIL comes to visit, etc. I guess I see it as work and than motivates me to excel at it, if that makes sense?

 

We should transform this into a "how to find INTJ females" thread...

Twitch

 

@Swede - that makes perfect sense

 

I've met male INTJs, and i know that they can be very resolute, very independent and very logical- with a surprisingly romantic/sentimental twist when you delve far enough.

And there's your answer!

 

If you have to ask, you don't deserve one. Haha.

Female INTJs will be your co-pilot, partner-in-crime, aka not your mother.

 

I have uttered almost those exact words several times in my life. Spot on.

 

Colleagues & friends have described me as deep, sweet, a good listener, with a positive attitude. :shocked: My family describes me as cold, self-righteous, & independent. So I guess it just depends on who you talk to. I would not describe myself as emasculated, but of course we are not a typical emotional girl. I can definitely hold my own at work where males dominate the workplace. I am a woman who knows what she wants & won't settle for anything less. However I go about it in a quiet steady way as opposed to a domineering in your face kind of way. I am usually attracted to manly men. They seem to make me look & feel softer more feminine somehow.

 

Nonexistent.

 

I'm not sure if i've ever met one before... i'm curious all the same.

To answer your very first question: awesome. Of all my romantic endeavors, the INTJ was (and still is) the most worthwhile. I'm actually in the midst of the endeavor right now. She lives an hour and half away from me, but when school resumes, it will be much easier to court her. She's the only confirmed female INTJ I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and I savor all the time we are able to spend together.

If you're ever lucky enough to find one, woo her and keep her.

 

Found this a couple years back, in a completely other context:

"South Africans argue, disagree, struggle; they face hard issues and go for conflict resolution and act as though they believed their opponents are human beings with a viewpoint and a soul." ~ Margaret Legum

Yeah. I like that.

 

These are the descriptive words / phrases that people usually describe me as and then my view on them.

cold- For the most part
wise- Definitely
deep- Very
blunt- Always
nice- Sure, i guess. I always give everyone a chance.
insensitive- Somewhat, I still have some feelings, just a very limited & watered-down amount of them.
serious- Yeah, especially for my age. Most teenage girls I know nowadays are emotional wrecks.
has no feelings- Partly true, as I just explained.
apathetic- Depends, in most situations I care very much, I'm just not emotional about it.
very intelligent- Sure, why not

 

Basically the opposite of a woo-hoo girl.

 

Well, am currently discussing with a guy friend what it is I look for in a guy, and he took the info and came up with a great response: I want a guy who doesn't mind me being "one of the guys" but who can still fill a fairly traditional male role....not sure if that's true of other INTJ females, but that put it better than I could have. I'm still a girl, and given an opportunity I love to look good, play with fashion and be a little girly - but I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, competing with the boys, and holding my own, too both physically and intellectually.

 

I met a Tongan guy, who I suspect was an ENFP, and he was more of a man at 14, then the INTJ guys I know in their twenties.