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INFJS: Your Instinctual Stacking

  • so/sx

    Votes: 5 17%
  • so/sp

    Votes: 3 10%
  • sx/so

    Votes: 4 13%
  • sx/sp

    Votes: 8 27%
  • sp/sx

    Votes: 6 20%
  • sp/so

    Votes: 3 10%
  • Don't Know/Unsure/Not INFJ

    Votes: 1 3.3%

What is your instinctual variant stacking?

5.8K views 13 replies 12 participants last post by  Kwestin  
#1 ·
Hola, crazy kids!

This thread has been inspired by the following threads:
http://personalitycafe.com/infj-forum-protectors/166819-infjs-what-your-enneagram-type-wing.html
http://personalitycafe.com/type-9-f....com/type-9-forum-peacemaker/163972-how-does-being-9-affect-your-mbti-type.html

So what is your instinctual variant stacking? And how do you find it might affect your MBTI and/or enneagram type?

If you don't know or are unsure about your stacking, you can find more information here:
http://personalitycafe.com/enneagra...onality-theory-forum/118168-resource-thread-instinctual-variants-stackings.html

I'm sp/sx. It goes along well with also being a 9. Perhaps too well, at times, lol. I'm not really sure how to describe it beyond what's mentioned in the article above. That's pretty spot on. How does it affect me being INFJ?

Well, because the 'so/social' variant is my blind spot, I'm much more introverted than the average INFJ, I think. I can get by just fine with minimal social interaction. My circle of love (friends, SO, etc) is small. My aux-Fe allows me to get through social situations more naturally than I think the average sp/sx would be able to, but I still worry that I'll look goofy or inept, even though Fe seems to cover that most of the time.

This is also probably the most likely reason why most of my relationships are initiated by others coming to me instead of vice versa. Love in all of its forms is more likely to come find me than I am to find (or even seek) it. I'm not even sure I'd really know how to do that in a proper, successful manner.

Anyways, your turn! What are your musings on your stacking, type, etc?

I'm keeping the poll simple in assuming that any response is from an INFJ, so that I can limit the choices to a reasonable level, but any type is free to add their input to the discussion.
 
#2 ·
Well I'm sx/sp (type 6) though for a while I thought I was sp/sx. I definitely need to be constantly mentally stimulated in order to feel fulfilled. I get really bored otherwise. I thrive off that intense connection with whoever or whatever I am merging with at the time. Even when I am alone, the person or subject lingers in my mind.

I'm 612 which is a very relationship focused tri-type. I really really value the people I make deep bonds with and am always open to another though it really is all or nothing with me. If it's not a deep relationship then it may as well not be a relationship. They are simply an acquaintance. I am either hot or cold. I put my whole being into anything I set my mind to or I don't do it at all. Really in tune with the person or I can become really withdrawn.

I've recently thought I was extroverted because of how intensely I feel when around others (at times). I do feel like I am feeding off their energy to some degree but I am still very much in my head and more cautious with who I reveal what to. If I'm in a room of people, I am constantly thinking about everyone and everything around me but I don't express everything. I usually express nothing until I am comfortable around said people (if that ever happens). Even with the little things I think...sometimes I want to share but not sure how it will be received so I don't.

I really hate shallow interactions where I feel I have not made any connection whatsoever with any of the people in the room or in this case, thread. So long as I have learned something (directly or indirectly) about myself, something or someone in the thread, I am happy. If not, I feel as if it was a total waste of my time. Maybe that is why I hold things in sometimes. I like to feel like I am valued and like I belong. Not like I am just an echo in the wind - expressing myself just for the sake of expressing myself. I don't see the point unless what I said is worth saying or valued in some way. And now I am rambling. Trying to explain what it is like for me. Hope I succeeded...
 
#3 ·
@Vivid Melody - I think you've explained yourself really well. I enjoy reading about different perspectives, which I guess is why I made this thread to begin with. I can totally see the 6 sx/sp connections as I read your post. Thank you! You have a way with bringing everything together in an easy to understand manner.

I wish I were able to explain my own thoughts in a way that brings them to life in a similar fashion.
 
#4 ·
I'm an so/sx, which seems to be a pretty rare stacking for INFJs. Contrary to what some might think, this stacking doesn't translate to extroversion or an intense need to socialize. Rather, it causes one to be hyper aware of the dynamics of a social setting (acceptance/rejection, social "ladder", connections between people, etc).

If you'd like, you could ask me questions about what it's like to be an so/sx because I'm not really sure what else to say. :tongue:
 
#6 ·
I'm a 4w3 sx/sp. I need constant stimulation or I get unhappy and anxious. I find books and TV shows to be more exciting than most people. In general I crave intensity and seek it out in life. When I do meet someone I find interesting, I absolutely love intimate one-on-one connections.

I adore indulging my Se because living in the moment can be very exciting but I think Ni can also be quite stimulating in its own way. It's just mental and emotional rather than physical. But it's not either/or - many of the most satisfyingly intense events of my life combined Ni and Se.

Also, I think being an sx/sp is part of why more competitive, self-absorbed, and confrontational than many INFJs - but that stuff also has a lot to do with being a 4w3, of course.

Oh, and if you have any questions, just let me know.
 
#9 ·
SP/SX, 9w8 - most of what was said by the OP resonates. I have difficulty understanding how SO can be so valued by other people; my SP scores are always at least double that of my SX, and SO is always totally miniscule in scale. I also spent 8 years living under a rock, so Fi got a workout and I lost what little ability I had to verbally communicate effectively.

I never initiate relationships, if I like someone I'll just make myself available and hope they take an interest; which is partially justifiable in my mind, because in a way it does eliminate the possibility of the other person suddenly developing quasi-feelings for you as a direct result of you informing them that you like them. Even if that makes me something of a pussy when it comes to dating, I do value that unspoken passivity where feelings are allowed to gradually build on both sides before saying anything.

Not sure why SO is so low, but I'm usually uncomfortable around groups of people; I'd totally love to live a solitary life (or with a partner) somewhere off the beaten track, and I've never been much of a team player because other people so often let me down... I'm just so much more effective on my own, where I can be flexible, adaptive and utilize my full potential as opposed to being stuck in a rigid, concrete group role... That also dictates my romantic tastes, because I idealize about a partner that's equally as flexible and independent and who's capable of either keeping up with or surpassing me in my life's pursuits.

Actually OP, you just quoted (and bolded) the section of one of my posts which reeked of SP! xD
 
#11 ·
After a short review of instinctual variants I'm definitely an sx/sp, maybe. I'll describe myself as if I know what I'm talking about when I say "I'm definitely an sx/sp..."

The sx dominates because I'm the type of person who prefers, and is more comfortable with, one on one contact, even non-sexually... However, I am deeply passionate about finding that one SO. I have grand ideals about what I want an SO to be, for me. I can go into many a great details. This is a strong driving force in my life, so much so that I put a lot of energy into opening myself up, intentionally and emotionally, to someone I feel I can connect with on a deep level. This can come off as me being too dependent upon others or "clingy."

The sp is auxiliary because I value comfort and independence. Mine and others' well-being, mentally and physically, is something I am highly sensitive to when I am interacting with others, and even more so with people closer to me. This has even been taken to a global perspective. I am aware of the tension between creating deep connection (sx) and doing all I can to ensure we are well taken care of (sp). My wife has commented on how I had seemed to be distant and unemotional; seldom during times of great emotional hardship, for her (something I didn't realize until too late), but definitely during inopportune moments.

If a greater amount of energy is put into the sx than sp, I try to find "the perfect SO," even to the exclusion of my own comfort well-being. If a greater amount of energy is put into sp then sx then I become more self-absorbed with what I think is right and needs to be done to create comfort for myself and others. But, sx definitely dominates.
 
#12 ·
It took me awhile to find out, but I realized I'm sx/so. The danger with this combination is that I am absolutely enamored by the person whom I've given my love to. The sx side (along with other factors) is totally driven by the ideal of finding the SO I've always felt that I belong with; ideally for the rest of my life. Since SP is my last stacking, I often *many* time neglect my own personal well being in order to make *her* happy. Essentially, I feel this intense drive to live for the person that I love; seeing them happy is what makes me happy. Sx/so's give every part of their being to the person they love; to love with reckless abandon is an intoxicating and alluring ideal. To have those feelings reciprocated with the same intensity is what we live for.

There is a pattern among sx doms that they tend to experience a lot of bad relationships and broken hearts due to their intensity of wanting to connect soul to soul with another person. I've been able to avoid painful experiences for the most part but there have been 3 girls that I will always remember for the rest of my life. A piece of my heart has and always will live in each of them.
 
#14 ·
There is a pattern among sx doms that they tend to experience a lot of bad relationships and broken hearts due to their intensity of wanting to connect soul to soul with another person. I've been able to avoid painful experiences for the most part but there have been 3 girls that I will always remember for the rest of my life. A piece of my heart has and always will live in each of them.
Agreed. Coincidentally, there are 3 females in my life that I will always remember for the rest of my life as well... Unfortunately, I apparently haven't found someone who is willing and able to reciprocate these feelings. It's very strange and disheartening, to me. But, I understand the ability to do so requires a lot of effort and dedication.