INFP - broke me into pieces once. It hurt for years .

ESFJ- disappointed me terribly and not just once.

 

ESFJ- disappointed me terribly and not just once.

Just a lurker here but I can totally identify with that. Our relationship hurt me for about 2 years until I gave up on it and stayed away from her, it took me so much time but I got over it. The thing that affected me the most was the idea I had of her instead of what or who she really was. When I realized that in real life she was so so average I suddenly knew- that I had created something more powerful inside of me that was doing the damage, and it wasn't really her anymore. It just had her shape.

More recently, another INTJ and I destroyed each other for 3 months, it took all that time of thinking and calming down to treat the situation objectively. Basically, each of us retreated for that time until we were ok to talk to each other again. Man, that hurt. But it did some well- before, we were immune to everyone else as long as we stayed together. When we "stabbed" each other in the back it made us realize we can only rely on our own selves. We're now immune to the other as well, and we don't have such high regards on the other.

It's lonelier, but safer this way.

I don't think of myself as the victim in neither situation.

 

Once i met another INFJ that I really liked. We had good conversations for a few months and I started to develop feelings for her. She was really intimate with me, so I told her about my feelings for her. The day after that, she started flirting with another guy in front of me and after that she door slammed me... That hurted a lot... I never asked her why she did it and I never knew why she did it. It just felt so wrong, so I had to close the door myself.

It felt like meeting a narcissist.

 

my friends, thats called a woman. Doesnt matter if shes INFJ or anything.

 

lol....not all women are like that......

 

I would say in my life I have been most hurt by certain people but there is no consistency in terms of mbti type. The ones that hurt me most were quite different from each other. I feel it was who they were as an individual that made them the way they were and not their type really, they were just mean.

 

I get hurt the most by T-types. They couldn't care less how I feel, or when they do, they're not so great at dealing with it :sI know they are not cold, but it seems that way and it's the perfect way to let me suffer. Rationalize the f*** out of everything and make me feel stupid for feeling the way I feel.

 

The type that hurt you the most is probably also the one you loved the most, ironically.

 

The type that hurt you the most is probably also the one you loved the most, ironically.

My ESTJ love interest has the same negative traits as my mother does. I have never had the love, commitment, honesty and support from either one of my parents, at least as I thought I should. They were just too involved with themselves, to really care. They always told me that they loved me, but I never FELT loved? Love was something that was conditional. Love was something that I always had to fight for and maintain on my own.

Maybe they didn't really know how to love me or were incapable of giving me the love that I really needed. I heard Bishop TD Jakes say that to someone a few weeks ago. After all of this time, I never looked at it that way.

Both of my parents are thinkers, so there is always a logical explanation for every thing in life.

Being an INFP, it STILL HURTS!!!

By 4w3 SX/SP

 

it is all personal.

 

INFJ...myself. People don't hurt me, I do. I allow their actions to affect and hurt me. Ultimately, it's a powerful vulnerability that resides in my own hands. If I never let anyone hurt me, I would never let anyone love me.

 

This was exactly what I thought when I saw the thread.

The reason why I have this view might be because of my troubled childhood. With an alcoholic dad that didn't leave me with much trust for anyone. Then having people asking about his shopping habits and how he treated the dog didn't really help matters. Bad self-esteem and confidence has been a big deal in my life.

If I never let anyone hurt me, I would never let anyone love me.

Yeah I did that for a long time myself. Couldn't let anyone get to me, since I would breakdown if anyone could hurt me. Knowing this I didn't let anyone close either.

 

Hurting people...hurt people.

When I'm hurting, I lash out and hurt people.
When other's are hurting they lashout at me, reguardless of MBTI type.

I hurt myself when I hold it inside and let the pain remain.
I hurt myself when I take on too much of other people's pain.
I hurt myself when I lash out and hurt others.

I've only learned this in the last year or so...
I need to pray the pain away.

People don't want to be mean or bad.
People don't always know right from wrong.
Not all people have experienced unconditional love,
so they don't know how to give and receive it.
Some people don't have support or strengh to fight their darkside.

 

Te-Types, especially ENTJs and ESTJs

 

Personally speaking, Te-doms.

It feels like I can never understand their logics, while they will never understand my sentimentality.

 

An ISTJ ,ESTJ, ENTP, ISxP, INTP, ESTP, INFJ, and ENTJ have caused the worst hurts. So, basically someone from every major MBTI category (SP, SJ, NT, NF). I'm pretty sensitive. While being seen as cold and insensitive is a problem for some types, being super-sensitive is no picnic, either.

 

So far, the most emotional damage I've undergone in a friendship was with an INTJ, but in many ways this was my fault (not going to go into it here, but...it's true.) His role in the problem, though, was his lack of emotional expressiveness and tendency to just hang out with whoever sought him out, and not put much effort into maintaining close friendships. The thing was that he was fascinated with me initially, prompted tons of interactions and built what felt like to me a very close friendship in which I really opened up and shared who I actually am...and he then pretty much stopped putting the effort in. For a friend to do that after I've opened up to them so much...it deeply bruised my self-esteem. This was compounded by the problem that during his extremely expressive stage, I developed a crush on him (for which I accept responsibility.)

In any case, we're still good friends, and we're both trying to understand the other's approach to friendship. I realized that part of the problem was that, for me, when the two of us were sharing all those ideas and thoughts, that had emotional significance. For him, it was really more satisfying intellectual curiosity.

@Joon's answer is the best one, though.

 

I'm really not sure if type has anything to do with it, but I've been hurt the most by an INFP girl because she willfully believed something about me that wasn't true, and wouldn't give me a chance to explain myself or try to make things better, but wanted to just keep sticking it too me passive aggressively. The other is an ENFJ, who has hurt me so many times because he just has a way of getting under my skin; he's so emotional; his emotions just affect me way too much.

 

I know "thinker" types usually don't hurt my feelings, because, for some reason, I usually end up not really caring what they think of me.

 

I - 70%ish
S - 99% but i swear 100%
?
J - 90%
...as i think back to my days of youth...
stepmom, complete evil cinderella style wicked b****. it was emotional/mental going on physical abuse living with her crap for a few years. the physical part was my body starting to react to the stress and being the only kid not being fed. (being the one kid that was not hers and all, it made perfect sense to her i guess)

 

I don't know about hurts, but ESTJ for generally being a pain in the ass.

 

INTJ or ISTJ definitely! Urghhhh

 

Those damn XXXX's kill me with their kisses!

 

I've had my heart destroyed by a fair few INFPs. Also ENTPs but on a necessarily lighter scale because of the nature of the disappointment; they are too flakey and flitty to ever really get anywhere with. Fuckers.

 

Some ESTJ/ENTJ people kind of get to me. The ENFP closest to me, however, really hurts me. I think in both cases its just a case of them being self absorbed, oblivious, and uncaring to the people around them. Its magnified with the ENFP, probably because hes so into his own feelings. But in general, i dont think type is the main factor. In both cases, it has everything to do with maturity.