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INFJ Sexual Interests and Preferences

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Chays

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Discussion starter · #1 ·
Hello everyone,

This line of thinking may be a stretch, but I was wondering if members of a particular type share similar sexual interests and preferences. As an INFJ myself, I'm most interested in hearing of the sexual interestes and preferences of others of this type (also as a male INFJ, I'm REALLY interested to hear from other male INFJ's). So what are your sexual interestes and preferences. I tend to really enjoy the whole bdsm thing with a heavy emphasis on the bondage. I also like women with piercings and tattoos (even though I don't have any piercings or tattoos myself). I also tend to be a dominant when practicing bdsm. Again, this may be a stretch, but it is interesting and thus worth exploring more. I look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks everyone,
Chase
 
#2 ·
Man, apparently a lot of us like BDSM...wow, well, kinda uncomfortable to talk about honestly. Oh well. You'll all certainly know me a little better after this. I don't know, might delete this...

At my worst, most dejected deepest darkest, I feel like I need to be punished for being worthless. Probably pathologically linked to some serious physical/psychological abuse I went through as a kid. Also probably linked in an odd way towards autogynephelia - the number one sexual fantasy for women to have is to be tied up in a controlled setting...the rape fantasy. That's a deep one so everyone feel free to disagree, but this is coming from my human sexuality professor who got her master's degree in gender studies. Seems legit. So for me, being a sub appeals to the side of me that is feminine. I am also stupidly masculine in relation, how odd? I enjoy being a guy - I have tattoos and piercings (and generally am sexually attracted to women that have them as well), I lift weights, and I do very much want to tie girls up. I'd just have to really love someone to do so. That makes me new-school I suppose, I am a switch. My god, well now that you all really know me, I hope I don't sound like a complete freak. Oh we're all freaks, need to remember that.

My preferences are simple and complex. I really like pretty voices, dresses, long hair. Good bad girls do it for me. So do bad good girls. I could go on forever though, all the way down to my peculiar idiosyncratic attractions. But I'm not going to.

You know what my real sexual interests/preferences are though? Really loving someone - That's it - Spiritual connection is way more of a turn on than ropes at the end of it all.

Hope I helped in some odd way,
Jace
 
Discussion starter · #3 ·
First of all, you are NOT a freak. If I were to go into further detail about my own preferences and desires you would find that I am probably more extreme than what you have described for yourself. I absolutely agree with you about the desire to really love someone, I think this is what I want more than anything else. It is absolutely essential that I connect with someone before I can engage in these types of activities with them. I had a girl awhile back that I tied up and had some fun with, but it didn't feel right because I never really got to know her and I really don't want to be that type of guy. I'm honestly just relieved that there are other INFJ's that are into the same crazy stuff that I am.
 
#4 ·
The subject pops up from time to time since I've been on the forums, you most certainly are not alone. Thank you for making it imperative that I don't consider myself in that way :) and perhaps we'd both surprise each other a little with the depth of how much we'd have to say.

I agree there needs to be deep connection, else you are 'that guy'. Scary dude. Really my desire to tie anyone up is a desire to fulfill something deep inside the person I'm with. It actually seems intimate in origin, which doesn't need to presuppose sexuality.
 
#5 ·
This is just a theory, and does not apply to every single INFJ.

Because INFJ are so withdrawn and quiet in a regular setting. We might appear to be calm, collected, balanced, etc. to others.
When we finally are alone in a bedroom, that is when we finally can let go, be adventurous, risky and have fun without the need to be bothered about people around us.

Or...maybe there isn't much to it and we're simply just open-minded and kinky.
 
#6 ·
That's quite interesting. I've never gotten into any bondage, although I did go to a swingers club for the first time about 6 months ago. They don't have anything like that in the midwest where I grew up. I ended up having sex in the middle of this room on this round couch while people were having sex all around us in other optionally curtained off rooms. It was a true paradigm shift. I've probably never gotten into the bondage stuff because I was raised strict Catholic and had the idea that sex was for procreation purposes only drilled into my head for a decade. Perhaps I went to the far opposite side of the spectrum with my promiscuity though. I've had about 4 times the amount of sexual partners that the average male has in his lifetime. It's not a scorecard, or something to brag about, it's just where my adventures and relationships in life have led me.

Actually, my biggest turn on is getting women off. Particularly if they are physically and mentally free enough to ejaculate. It's important to note though that not all women are able to do this. It's neither a good or a bad thing. It just kind of is what it is. The books The G Spot and The Big O are good resources for this topic, and just sex in general.
 
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#7 ·
Because INFJ are so withdrawn and quiet in a regular setting. We might appear to be calm, collected, balanced, etc. to others.
When we finally are alone in a bedroom, that is when we finally can let go, be adventurous, risky and have fun without the need to be bothered about people around us.

Or...maybe there isn't much to it and we're simply just open-minded and kinky.
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I approve of this theory.

I find control play of interest, but not bdsm.
 
#8 ·
Valandis said:
This is just a theory, and does not apply to every single INFJ.

Because INFJ are so withdrawn and quiet in a regular setting. We might appear to be calm, collected, balanced, etc. to others.
When we finally are alone in a bedroom, that is when we finally can let go, be adventurous, risky and have fun without the need to be bothered about people around us.

Or...maybe there isn't much to it and we're simply just open-minded and kinky.
Click to expand...
Seconded... On both counts.

Although I'd be inclined not to limit 'activities' just to the bedroom. Unfortunately in this respect my one ex-partner was a little reserved and the most adventurous we managed was the shop counter (while we were still open) and on the stairs during a family BBQ. Both events are still vivid memories which is why I want to be more adventurous with my next partner.

Haven't done BDSM and if I'm honest I'm not that interested... although as with most things, I'll give it a go. I think it's because I consider myself neither a dom or a sub (I like to mix things up). Fancy the idea of role play and dressing up and I still have an unused erotic dots book (join the dots sex positions) which would be a good book to go through and act out one weekend xD.

I tend to be attracted to quiet, curvaceous, long haired brunettes (glasses, stockings and basques are a welcome bonus). Being a quiet one myself, I know they are the ones to watch out for *Continues his search for a local INFJ*
 
#11 ·
Delilah said:
@Enigma Daddy you need to add that info to your dating profile^ lol =)
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Haha, actually taken it offline, while I focus on work and fitness for next twelve weeks or so.

But when I reactivate it, I might well put it on. The sexual references in the existing one were the ones that were getting the most responses... Eeeesh, you women, you're as bad as us ;)
 
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#13 ·
I'm a female, but I'll interject here and say that in order to be truly satisfied in a long-term relationship, I need different types of sex. (From one person, because I'm faithful.) But I mean,... the slow, loving, tender kind, with lots of foreplay... the passionate quickie .... BDSM... other creative things. I get really disappointed if it's always the same kind. To my knowledge, it's difficult to find a guy who can do all sorts of things well, express all kinds of emotion and creativity.
 
#15 ·
Cordiform said:
I'm a female, but I'll interject here and say that in order to be truly satisfied in a long-term relationship, I need different types of sex. (From one person, because I'm faithful.) But I mean,... the slow, loving, tender kind, with lots of foreplay... the passionate quickie .... BDSM... other creative things. I get really disappointed if it's always the same kind. To my knowledge, it's difficult to find a guy who can do all sorts of things well, express all kinds of emotion and creativity.
Click to expand...

ALL OF THIS^^^^ Variety is the spice! As long as it's with one committed partner I'm game for pretty much anything as long as it doesn't involved urine, feces, vomit, or drawing blood. I've played around with being tied up, blindfolded and teased, which I REALLY liked and would like to do again. Also one of my ultimate fantasies is Tantric sex. I've never tried it and I've never met anyone who was into it but I'm so curious.

Now I'm a bit embarrassed for sharing so much. :blushed:
 
#17 ·
This is an interesting question and something I've been pondering personally about myself. I've been trying to classify myself sexually. While I by no means would consider myself a prude I have a hard time getting into domination/submissive play. I've been trying to read the book, 50 Shades of Grey, for a while and I just can't seem to get into. I have no interest in being dominated nor do I have any interest in dominating. I often fantasize about being with an assertive partner (like being pinned up against the wall) and I suppose there is a degree of domination there but then positions change I am the one pinning him against the wall. So.....I guess it's an equal degree of domination. :)
 
#18 ·
Jebediah said:
I tend to prefer the cute girls over the sexy girls. As for bondage, it's not really my thing. Guarantee you I'd try it though if someone I was with was really into it though.
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Same for me; I actually feel somewhat uncomfortable with sexy girls. I get the feeling they expect me to be mature and cool, but I'm just too awkward to even attempt that kind of behavior.

I don't really like bondage, either, but I'm very interested in dubcon.
 
#19 ·
espyr said:
Same for me; I actually feel somewhat uncomfortable with sexy girls. I get the feeling they expect me to be mature and cool, but I'm just too awkward to even attempt that kind of behavior.
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It's not even that it's just that the sexy girls can make me lust for a bit, but the cute girls can melt my fucking insides over and over again. "Might I recline briefly at your feet miss? Your beauty has loosened my knees." That kind of thing. Hope that makes sense.
 
#20 ·
quixoticcrush said:
ALL OF THIS^^^^ Variety is the spice! As long as it's with one committed partner I'm game for pretty much anything as long as it doesn't involved urine, feces, vomit, or drawing blood. I've played around with being tied up, blindfolded and teased, which I REALLY liked and would like to do again. Also one of my ultimate fantasies is Tantric sex. I've never tried it and I've never met anyone who was into it but I'm so curious.

Now I'm a bit embarrassed for sharing so much. :blushed:
Click to expand...
^ Pretty much this.

Really, my biggest fantasy is probably the most normal out there: to feel deep attraction to my partner, and for them to feel deep attraction to me. Mutual sexual craziness. I'm big on me and my partner both having admiration for each other.

I've had random fantasies about having sex with a boss or stranger, but it's honestly sooo unappealing to me when I imagine it actually happening. Something strictly left to my imagination, or maybe a role-play with a significant other.

BDSM would bother me unless I had a ton of communication beforehand, because I hate, hate, hate power complexes in relationships. The times I've practiced with tying up, it was in a fun way, not a master-slave way.
 
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