Did you guys do this before and what was your reasoning behind it? Can anyone redeem himself/herself as soon as you cut ties with him/her or is he/she in your eyes a lost cause? How can other MBTI preserve their relationship (friendship/romantic relationship) with you without the fear of something like this happening?
Have a nice day
Correction: I prefer throwing away the key, instead of "doorslamming" for me.
In this context, I "doorslam" (i.e.
throw away the key) it is when my agency has been so depleted by the other individual that it does not warrant a proper dismissal.
In other word(s); there is a lack of respect for my agency coming from the other party, to which I do not see the point in granting them such luxuries. (e.g. abuse, narcissists, disrespectful strangers, "associates" with low intimate rapport, etc).
A "doorslam" is not only the 'cut-off' of all contact. A "doorslam"
begins with lack of respect—and laziness on the other party, to where I justify throwing the key—ceasing all contact.
I threw away the key with a 'friend' recently—she had long "closed" the door on our friendship and with a crack through the peephole as I gave her fair space to redeem, if I may add. The next step is throwing away the key, which most specimens seem to take issue with.
I want to say this, just because I cease all contact [abruptly - with no scheduled time], doesn't mean they weren't
warned or oblivious it was coming via acknowledgment of their faults & error(s) but refused to address them; not all are blind to what they do - but instead fail to mend the issue and/or are too lazy to acknowledge my agency in relation to themselves.
The way I see it, those that are
offended by the key being thrown away they were "never really friends.." to begin with (fixating on the superficial aspects of human relations [i.e. vanity, social status points, hyper need for validation, complexity-blindness and/or "fear" untreated traumas - hasty relationships made out of chronic loneliness/lack of intimacy, fear of abandonment, etc] - rather than
mutual care and/or distress of said friend in comparison to their behavior(s)).
With that said, this is the reasoning why I am more prone to doorslam associates and/or individuals with a weak sense or understanding of self, as opposed to friends. Evaluating those for "friendship" starts first and foremost with character. "Authenticity, kindness and loving everyone" is more of an NF-trait which they seem to fixate on when evaluating friends - but it is seems they often hit or miss, and is a weak method of people evaluation.
But these 'authentic, kindness, love, and fairness' are not what I fixate on like the NF, or something I am worry about in people. You can be full of plastic and mean as all hell, but a strong sense and understanding of self is
more than sufficient to judge character. Thus, this strong understanding and sense of self reduces the need to doorslam people in so far as they are sufficient enough to set their own boundaries—thus acknowledge the importance of habitual care of themselves & how this is
necessary to care for others in the process - in short, they understand
reciprocity.
Other (MBTI) types, especially the (NF) are known to be self-defeating
optimists - with a different set of expectations, thus known for their
dead-horse beating in the name of "love" - which is heroic, but (NT) acknowledge such heroism as useless, thus the reduced 3rd, 4th chances.
And finally, just because I throw away the key, more quickly or abrupt, doesn't mean I do not feel the
grief of loss, indeed, the action of cutting the ties myself (and battling my own emotions after the fact) - of an individual that had a solid potential to be a good part of my life often feels far more painful than being "ghosted" by the other, which is often misunderstood by other MBTI types, who tend to "grieve" loss of a friend or relationship/friendship differently. I often see potential in many, and having to cut those with potential loose is never an easy task.
